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Thursday, May 31, 2007


A new father and his friend wanted their balloons back.

Family members of Brad Freeman of London, Ky., put out balloons to welcome the birth of Freeman's new baby when some neighborhood boys stole them.

Freeman and his friend Shawn Asher didn't take the theft lightly and went to the home of Charles Murphy and his 14-year-old son on Monday to retrieve the balloons.

An argument ensued and Murphy hit Asher in the head with a pipe. Then Murphy's son got into the act and hit Asher as well with a metal baseball bat, leaving him in serious condition.

Turns out Murphy and his son were charged with first-degree assault.

Moral of story: Don't mess with buffoons over balloons...
Or a volatile dad whose son has a metal baseball bat!

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Wednesday, May 30, 2007


Here's a new low in reality shows.

A Dutch woman with an inoperable brain tumor wants to donate a kidney before she dies and will choose the recipient from among three contestants on national television.

Sounds like a real tear-jerker.

The kicker is that it's unclear whether those in need of a kidney on "The Big Donor Show" are a medical match with the terminally ill woman. The winner might not even be able to receive her kidney.

BNN, the network on which the show is to be aired, claims the reality of waiting for an organ is like "playing the lottery," and wants to bring awareness to the country's organ allotment system.

Funeral homes are even giving discounts to families of a donor when they die.

Hum, sounds like it's about money after all.

On a lighter note: Here's what some are saying about rising gas prices:

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Tuesday, May 29, 2007


In your lifetime, you inadvertently will eat a pound of insects.

At least that's what I read after I found this itty bitty fly in my chicken Cesar salad. OK, so I lost my appetite. I don't do bugs.

Many people, though, do do bugs. In fact, some people eat bug doo-doo. If you don't believe me, just go online and Google "eat bugs." After I finished shuddering, this cookbook looked interesting.

I might be able to eat a fried, ground-up mealworm. I eat escargot, after all. Does that count as a bug?

It's those insects with hairy legs and wings that are difficult to swallow. Or maybe it's the fear of bug eggs hatching in my intestines to grow into a 50-foot tapeworm that's makes the thought hard to stomach.

So much for all that protein.

It you don't like bugs (or if you feel sorry for them when they're eaten) don't watch this.

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Friday, May 25, 2007


A San Mateo, Calif., man is accused of biting off his wife's bottom lip.

Akano Nzerem, 54, allegedly grabbed his wife in a bear hug and bit off her lip after she called him short.


Police recovered the lip from the floor but doctors were unable to reattach it. Nzerem is charged with felony counts of domestic violence, mayhem, false imprisonment, battery and making criminal threats.

I'll be thinking twice now when, after an argument, I bend over and tell Spud "Yeah, well bite this!"

Have a great holiday, everyone!

Here's a little YouTube ditty to entertain you while you "juggle" all your Memorial Day activities. You must have the sound up on your computer to appreciate this!

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Thursday, May 24, 2007


Ah yes, yet another McDonald's incident.

Time ran out for one clown after he was a little slow picking up his fast food at a McDonald's drive-through in Camden, Ark.

Terrance Forte, 32, was found asleep behind the wheel with his engine running and right foot on the brake after employees called police saying they had been waiting 15 minutes for Forte to drive from the first window to the second window.

Forte offered the cops $10 for his food order when they woke him up. Not surprisingly, his blood alcohol level registered at 0.19, more than twice the legal limit. He was cited for his third drunk-driving charge and later released.

If I were a betting woman, I'd say Forte fell asleep waiting on the slow McFlatfoots to get his order together.

Let this be a lesson. Hit the always-ready-for-drunks White Castle instead.

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Wednesday, May 23, 2007


They went on a paper raid.

Two Framingham State College students stole nearly half of the college paper's press run after it hit the newsstands because they said their picture on the front page made them look fat.

The picture was snapped at a women's lacrosse game as the girls, wearing hip-hugger shorts and abbreviated tank tops, showed off the name of a friend spelled out on their stomachs to cheer her on.

When the issue came out, reality landed a low blow, and the Massachusetts students' gut reaction was to steal all the papers. Click here for the story.

OK, so at 18 in Florida, I dressed in hiphuggers and midriff tops that revealed everything from my hip bones up to (but not including) my boobs. But at 100 pounds soaking wet, my stomach was flatter that wee-wee on a plate. If I had thought I looked fat, I certainly wouldn't have drawn attention to it with signage.

Then again, those miniskirts did little for my toothpick legs.

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Tuesday, May 22, 2007


With gas prices exceeding $3 a gallon in most states, I'd say that motorcycle of mine is looking more and more attractive.

Of course, it's not so attractive at night, in the rain or when you want to go somewhere with your family in tow. It's also not so attractive in rush-hour traffic.

But gas prices are stressing me out. I feel like I'm working to get to work to make enough money to get me home and then back to work the next day. Which means ... it's time for more companies to allow their employees to leave their desktops behind and work from home.

We certainly have the technology via secure Web browsers. And even if a fraction of regular commuters worked from home one day a week, it would save millions of gallons of gasoline a year. Not to mention that worker productivity might improve without all that stress from stupid-human interaction!

Being a stay-at-home employee sounds OK to me. Winning the lottery sounds even better.

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Monday, May 21, 2007


The stoning death of a 17-year-old Iraqi girl for being seen with a man of a different religion and not being married was senseless and tragic.

Sadly, "honor killing" is a common occurrence there.

And so, these are the people of this barbaric country that we are sending our soldiers to die for.

As blogger Pete pointed out: Is this anything that resembles a civilized society?

Warning: This YouTube video of the girl's death captured by a bystander on a cell phone contains graphic violence.

Click here for the printed CNN story.

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Friday, May 18, 2007


West Hollywood, Calif., wants to ban cosmetic surgery.

Not for people ... but pets.

Lawmakers say unnecessary "non-curative" surgeries, such as ear cropping, tail docking and debarking are cruel body alterations for the critters. The animal-friendly town that calls pet owners "pet guardians" already has made cat de-clawing illegal.

I wonder if "non-curative" surgery includes spaying and neutering.

Here's my logic ... Chihuahua Toots got fat after we had her spayed.

In any case, she's pretty fat, so would a little lipo on plus-sized Tootsie's rolls be illegal? Sounds like "curative" surgery to me.

Oh please, I'm just kidding! That little - I mean big - hot tamale keeps my feet warm at night!

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Thursday, May 17, 2007


After the McDonald's condom fiasco (see May 10 blog below), another Happy Meal has been laced with something more than cookies.

It seems an Ottawa, Ill., 8-year-old found a lighter, a pipe and a bag of marijuana in her Happy Meal yesterday. After wondering what the heck these new toys were, she promptly turned over the stash to her parents Keith and Andrea Ireland.

Police said the drugs and paraphernalia were placed in one of the Happy Meal boxes for safe-keeping by McDonald's employee Brandon Scott, 17, for later, when he got a chance to get happy too.

I guess it's insignificant to say, "What was this kid ... high?"

In any case, once the Happy Meal McBig Deal was straightened out, Scott was fired and McDonald's apologized. The Irelands plan to sue anyway.

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Wednesday, May 16, 2007


What is it with guys and their trucks?

It took running trough three yellow traffic lights to catch up with this one just so I could see who would actually put a shaking pit-bull on their trailer ball-hitch.

At first I thought the noise from the motorized pit bull was coming from underneath my car. Once I realized it was the truck in the left lane four cars up, of course, I had to have a picture.

Multitasking, I weaved around the other cars while pulling my camera out of its bag on the seat next to me. Just when I thought I could get the shot, I realized the lens cap was on.

By that time, the light changed and I had to follow this guy for another mile or so until he caught the next red light. But, ta-da, success!

In any case, I never saw the driver, but living with a multi-truck owner who has our driveway looking like a used car lot, I know the type

It was only after I took our big Dodge Ram to the grocery and couldn't get it out of the parking space once I squeezed it in, that I wondered if the driver of the pit-bull truck might have been a woman.


Now here's a truck!

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Tuesday, May 15, 2007


It was growing.

OK, so I overlooked the onion in the refrigerator crisper since Christmas.

I'm usually paranoid about out-of-date items and clean out the refrigerator religiously. Rarely anything (other than stuck-in-the-back-of-the-drawer cream cheese) gets moldy.

After I discovered the onion had fully sprouted, I was fascinated with its delicate lines and intricate root system that had started to grow. So, I took some pictures.

After that, I started to wonder if it would have baby onions if I planted it. So, I did. I know nothing about growing onions, but I know it's getting bigger by the minute.

Sort of like these giant water lilies on time-lapse photography.

Stay tuned for red onion updates throughout the summer.

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Monday, May 14, 2007


She's a little Tasmanian devil.

Well, not really. Granddaughter Chloe is going through her terrible twos and testing everything her mother says. A recent airplane trip to Florida had poor Darling agonizing just how tight she could get away with strapping in her little tonado with the seat belt so she wouldn't have to physically hold her down.

Unfortunately, mothers today are under constant scrutiny over whether to spank their child when they act out or to try sticking it out with tough love. A reader told me she finds it effective to settle down her son with a car ride. Here's how she said that ride usually goes.


Obviously, these are not my pictures.

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Friday, May 11, 2007


Here are a few facts to ponder from blogger Tom of Brick.

#1: On the average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily. (I always knew my sister was different).

#2: Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood (Better than plastic).

#3: By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you can't sink in quicksand. (Good to know if you ever visit Morecambe Bay, England, which is notorious for its quicksands - and you thought they were in the coastal marshes of South America).

#4: Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated. (The better to snap you with, my dear).

#5: The average 4-year-old child asks more than 400 questions a day (mostly, "Why?").

#6: The only domestic animal not mentioned in the Bible is the cat. (I slipped that one in there because I had this cat picture).

And finally, my absolute favorite, which should be no surprise to those of you who know me ...

#7: Dentists recommend that your toothbrush be kept at least six feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush (and don't breathe).

Have a great weekend and Mother's Day!

Thursday, May 10, 2007


Someone was ecstatic, but it wasn't the grandma who found a condom and its package in her granddaughter's Happy Meal.

A representative for the Wellington, New Zealand, McDonald's where the condom was discovered, said the fast-food restaurant ran out of the usual children's gifts and prepackaged sports bags were substituted in the Happy Meals instead.

How the condom got into the only open sports bag that was used for display purposes or how that sports bag got into the meal was the mystery of the day. Click here to read all about it.

In any case, it leaves one wondering what McDonald's workers do there besides get the french fries hot.

If you think that was gross, check out the bionic burger.

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Wednesday, May 09, 2007


Besides the paid mosquito counter who allows hundreds of the biting bugs to land on him in order to calculate where insect controllers need to spray, here's a job you'd love to hate.

A beer taster in Sao Paulo, Brazil, was awarded $49,000 after he alleged that the brewer he worked for did not provide health measures to keep him from becoming an alcoholic.

It seems his job was to drink up to 25 glasses of beer a day during his 8-hour shift. OK, so they were small glasses.

But here's the kicker: At the end of each shift, he received a bottle of beer for a job well done.

Talk about perks!

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Tuesday, May 08, 2007


I was going to blog about this cute little long-haired Chihuahua, Dancer, whose owner Jenny Gomes of Leesburg, Fla., is trying to document as the world's smallest living dog. Dancer is only 4 inches tall to the top of his shoulder. Click here for more photos of Dancer by Orlando Sentinel photographer Tom Benitez.

While I was at it, I was going to throw in another cute dog photo and happy saying sent to me by reader Judy Corbutt, just for the feel-good effect.

God knows, I must have been feeling a little too good with the puppy dog tales because the next thing I came across on the Internet was this news item:

Doctor Finds Spiders in Boy's Ear

Of course, I had to read all about how the kid told his mother there were Rice Krispies in his ear, which turned out to be the spiders walking on his eardrum.

And just like that - Snap! Crackle! Pop! - there went that feel-good feeling.

Can't get enough of spiders?
Check out the spider vs. scorpion fight. The music makes this YouTube video so turn up the sound.

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Monday, May 07, 2007


New Jersey might become the first state to abolish the death penalty since capital punishment was reinstated 31 years ago.

A special commission appointed by the Legislature a couple of years ago analyzed the benefits of the move. The panel determined that the death penalty costs taxpayers more than paying to incarcerate prisoners for life (probably because New Jersey hasn't executed anyone since 1963).

It also concluded that the death penalty doesn't deter people from committing murders (I beg to differ).

This commission must have its head up its study. And, I wonder just how much it cost taxpayers.

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Friday, May 04, 2007


Every spring it surreptitiously flows over the land covering everything in its path with regenerating power.

It wreaks havoc for those who physically are unable to ward off its potent effect floating like a cloud of heavy dust in the air. Sneezing, stuffy noses and runny eyes become commonplace for them.

The green wave seeps into every crack and crevice it can find, hoping to start anew. Man-made home electronics often are reduced to a non-operating state after it settles in the inner workings of the devices. Car washing and table dusting are futile until it subsides.

But its life-giving force is what keeps the world turning.

And when you see the sprouts that shoot out the pollen like a cannon, you can bet that it's Mother Nature saying "gotcha" while giving you the finger.

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Thursday, May 03, 2007


This ought to raise a few eyebrows.

Former Gov. McGreevey wants to become an Episcopalian priest. Then again, maybe this news isn't all that shocking considering the "middle way" views of that particular church.

God knows, everyone needs a place to worship and feel accepted. I always felt comfortable as a southern Baptist, for Christ sake (I say that lovingly, no blasphemy here)!

And I don't have anything against the gay community because my uncle was gay. He, unfortunately, stayed in the closet until he died. He, too, was a practicing Baptist.

As a teacher, he taught me how to appreciate books, art and music, and was more of a father to me than his brother.

Still, I feel a bit conflicted about an openly gay man going into the priesthood.

I guess we don't realize what hypocrites we really are at times.

P.S. My uncle collected figurines like these Royal Doulton's. He thought they were beautiful. My father, who inherited them when his brother died, distributed the part of his collection he couldn't pawn or sell to my sisters and me. Now, we have the expensive dust catchers.

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Wednesday, May 02, 2007


I would rather have been somewhere else.

It stinks when you leave your house at 7:45 a.m. to go 30 minutes to work and traffic is backed up on the parkway because of an accident. I could have slept another hour and been in the same position ... late.

Sitting (not even inching along) in the car for more than an hour after one too many cups of tea also can make one a bit anxious. I tried to concentrate on the worst of Opie and Anthony on the radio until their time slot was up and the next stupid talk show came on. Then I knew I had to act.

Because nature was calling, I took an unauthorized police exit to get off the jammed highway. All the cops were at the accident scene anyway. Not knowing where it led, I eventually got lost on a back road and had to turn back.

In any case, I finally made it to work.

Here's the dilemma: I figured I was working anyway in the car by composing this blog in my head and shouldn't have to make up the time. But I can bet ya that's not the consensus of those in charge.

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Tuesday, May 01, 2007


I love the Internet.

I could tool around on it all day and never be bored because I never know what I'll come across.

Take for example, the NASA scientist who studied a water bubble in zero gravity (I actually watched the entire segment).

And, there's plenty of funny stuff such as this must-see, Charles has a licking problem. Make sure your computer's sound is on.

In any case, Barbara Bochnick sent me an e-mail about her son, Bill, who buddy-listed his last name on the Internet just to see who came up. He found a shirttail cousin, Rob, three or four (?) times removed, who lives in Ireland. Their great-great grandfathers were brothers from Poland.

Turns out the two cousins have tons of things in common and even look alike, as you can see.

So now I'm off to search the Internet for that long lost dead relative who left me tons of money!

P.S. Feel free to e-mail me at with interesting finds such as this.

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