Subscribe Now!
GannettUSA Today

Say, what?


Friday, December 29, 2006


After 180 blogs this year and a ton of pictures, I would like to thank everyone who has clicked on this site to read my crappy little blogs.

Also, a special thanks goes out to those who have taken the time to email me with ideas and think of witty comments in response to my crappy little blogs.

So, have a wonderful 2007, and hopefully you'll stick around next year, for ... uh ... more crappy little blogs.

See ya in 2007!

Thursday, December 28, 2006


Beefy armadillos, iguana meat, smoked rodent meat, duck feet and a few bullfrogs.

All these exotic (but illegal) foods were found by food inspectors recently in New York markets and restaurants.

And here I was worried about the leftover spinach dip I've been eating since Christmas Eve.

Wednesday, December 27, 2006


The "Girls Gone Wild" empire has been fined $1.6 million for filming drunken, underage girls on spring break in Florida and then distributing the raunchy videos for profit.

The founder of Mantra Films also was sentenced to do eight hours of community service a month for the next 30 months because the judge didn't think the fine would be meaningful enough. The $1.6 million only represented 3 percent of the company's profits for 2002, the year before the filming took place.

Just wondering what kind of community service a pornographer (who sexually exploits minors) gets?

Maybe he should be forced to clean the prison cells of convicted rapists and child abusers.

Tuesday, December 26, 2006


A recent study on the meteorite that plunged into a Canadian lake in 2000 says: 1 percent is made up of materials that may be more than 4.5 billion years old (yes, that's billion, with a B).

That's older than the sun, according to Science magazine.

The big rock also contained some of the most important ingredients for life, such as amino acids. Scientists have long speculated that the organic matter on Earth originally was delivered by meteorite and comet impacts.

Kind of validates the saying "older than dirt," don't ya think?

Monday, December 25, 2006


On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me

five blown fuses!

That was yesterday, and after that,

that was that.

Saturday, December 23, 2006


On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me.
four calling libations
three Mexican friends
two wrong turns
and a doggie yule log on my settee

Friday, December 22, 2006


On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Three Mexican friends,
two wrong turns
and a doggie yule log on my settee.

Thursday, December 21, 2006


One the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Two wrong turns

and a doggie yule log on my settee.

Photo taken from an Internet circulated e-mail

Wednesday, December 20, 2006


On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me

A doggie yule log on my settee

Tuesday, December 19, 2006


Even in the '70s I wasn't this stupid.

A local alliance for the prevention of substance abuse put out a warning to parents about "fishbowl parties" kids are having.

A fishbowl party occurs when a bunch of kids raid their parents' medicine chest of prescription medications before bringing them to a party where they are combined in a fishbowl. The wanna-be druggies then ingest handfuls of the pills.

I don't remember having fishbowl parties, but I doubt if they are new.

Then again, I don't remember much of the '70s except for maybe a hazy flashback or two.

Guess it's time for parents to keep their prescriptions under lock and key.

Monday, December 18, 2006


A guy and his pal go into a bar.

No, wait.

A guy goes over to his friend's house to watch the annual South Carolina-Clemson football game on TV.

Each bet $20 on the opposite team.

They drank beer all day.

During the game, an argument broke out and one guy went out to his truck, got his hunting rifle and shot his buddy ... dead.

Gives new meaning to getting blasted with friends.

Moral of the story: Don't be a dummy; pick your friends wisely.

Friday, December 15, 2006


Dead skunk in the middle of the road.

That's what comes to mind when I see people walking down the middle of the vehicle
lane in parking lots.

I snapped these pictures while I was waiting for pedestrians to move to the side of the lane as they made their way (smack dab in the middle of the road) to and from the store.

I had been looking for a parking space and already had waited for several other people (smack dab in the middle of the road) before grabbing my always accessible camera off the seat next to me.

I had time to take the pictures because I wasn't driving ... I was stopped ... waiting, waiting for these people to move.

Some moved, others continued on (smack dab in the middle of the road), oblivious that there was a car with a driver, who wanted to drive, behind them.

Hey, it's the busy shopping season. But for safety's sake, people, stay to the side near the parked cars or walk in the pedestrian lanes if the store has them.

Everyone's in a hurry this time of year, and most drivers aren't very courteous.

Don't be that dead skunk in the middle of the road.

Thursday, December 14, 2006


Guess what? You've been duped if you've ever signed an e-mail petition (intended for Congress) to stop the war, illegal immigration or help a sick kid collect business cards. You've also helped dupe 10 of your closest friends if you forwarded it on to them.

It seems these e-mails are just another form of Web phishing for advertisers and other sinister characters such as Viagra pimps who want to hook you into their spam or link you to other spamming Web sites.

Remember this, e-mail petitions are NOT acceptable to Congress or any other municipality. To be acceptable, petitions must have a signed signature and full address.

On top of it, these insidious spammers and pop-up advertisers are loading up your computer with info-tracking cookies (that slow down your computer's performance) to validate active e-mail accounts for their own purposes. Sneaky you-know-whats!

Geez, you can't trust anyone these days.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006


Looking out from our cozy little worlds, we assume we're safe and secure, so we often take for granted those who love us and what we have.

Sometimes we feel so secure we think it's OK to be condescending and indifferent to them.

But there's nothing truer than the saying, "You don't know what you've got till it's gone.

It may appear to a big cruel world out there, but make no mistake; it also just might be liberation.

OK, don't try to figure this blog out... I just wanted to use the pictures.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006


Good news!

Your tacos are safe ... for now.

Taco Bell released a statement yesterday saying it changed its produce supplier as a precautionary measure after dozens of people in the Northeast who ate foods there containing green onions fell ill with E. coli poisoning.

Independent laboratory test results of more than 300 samples of all the ingredients served in Taco Bell restaurants, which serve more than 35 million consumers each week, concluded that no ingredient contained the E. coli bacteria.

The FDA and CDC also stated this outbreak was limited to four states only, and that no person has become sick since Dec. 2.

I'm still not convinced that these recent E. coli incidents cropping up aren't acts of terrorism. Could someone be paying illegal immigrants to poop in our produce?

Oh what the heck, Tex-Mex it up.

We all gotta go (no pun intended) one way or another.

Monday, December 11, 2006


You can't let life get to you.

It was difficult this past weekend when I scheduled the cable company (for the third time) to fix the service to my media-center computer.

Two months ago, the first guy split the line coming to my high-speed Internet connection to accommodate the digital, high-def TV in the computer.

It didn't work, and the TV picture was left dark and trailing.

I complained.

The second guy came out and fidgeted with the levels on the pole outside.

That didn't work either and the cable company blamed the lousy picture on my brand new computer.

I then paid $133 for the computer man to come out and troubleshoot. He did a direct analog connection, and the computer looked fine except it wasn't high-def.

He blamed the cable company, which I called again.

A brash, very rude cable man came out and basically told me I was crazy. He thought the picture looked fine to him, but admitted he didn't know a thing about computers. When I began to get a little adamant about the crappy service, he ran out of the house.

I complained AGAIN to the cable company. Saturday they're sending a supervisor who supposedly knows about media centers.

I was told years ago by a friend that you should go through life like a duck ...look calm and collected on top, but paddle like the devil underneath.

If this supervisor doesn't fix the problem, then I'm paddling right up to Comcast's CEO!

Friday, December 08, 2006


Here's another couple of stupid druggies in the news.

A Texas man and his girlfriend were arrested in a Fort Lee, N.J., hotel room for having 17 pounds of marijuana.

They were putting the grass in baggies when they opened the door to a man they thought was going to take them to Brooklyn.

But, surprise, surprise!

It was the police who had been called by hotel management because the couple had ... get this ... MISSED CHECKOUT TIME!

Guess Mom was right when she said it doesn't pay to be late.

Thursday, December 07, 2006


A South Carolina mom had her son arrested for playing with one of his Christmas present early.

It seems the kid kept sneaking into his grandmother's house and rummaging around to find the hidden Nintendo Game Boy after his mother kept telling him not to do so.

She got so fed up with his bad behavior, she called police who arrested him for petty larceny and took him to the station in handcuffs. His mother sprung him later.

Gives a new meaning to time out (or in), don't you think?

Where's that lump of coal when you need it?

Wednesday, December 06, 2006


How about the Boston man who's suing his former employer, The Scotts Co., for firing him because he tested positive for nicotine?

This smoker's drug test revealed he was really into cigarettes, and subsequently, he was fired from his lawn-care job.

Now, I'm not a smoker, but it seems to me the company is violating a few civil rights by trying to control the legal private conduct it finds dangerous or distasteful of its employees. Big Brother shouldn't be watching that close.

I hope this guy hits them in their deep corporate pockets by winning a huge settlement.

Then he can smoke his brains out while cutting the grass.

P.S. Don't ya just love it when a totally botched photo looks kind of cool?

Tuesday, December 05, 2006


I have this whistle ... in my car.

I'm not exactly sure what's causing it and with a 60 percent hearing loss and a constant ringing in my left ear, it's hard to tell where the whistling is coming from while I'm driving.

I've open and shut all of the windows and sunroof over and over, but it's still there.

Now, my car is only a year old. It would seem to me that it shouldn't be whistling. So, I asked my man to take a look.

He took it for a ride and it didn't whistle.

This morning the whistling was back, but I solved the problem.

I turned up the radio.

Monday, December 04, 2006


OK, I've had it with old Christmas tree lights.

I spent way too many hours putting in a bulb, taking out a bulb, searching for that blown one that keeps all the others from lighting.

Even the strands of lights I bought last year are defective.

I finally got so fed up, I threw them all away. Which I plan to do every year from now on except for the $75 of purple lights I ordered online that are hard to find in department stores.

Now that I think about it, we have it pretty easy compared to the big-bulb stands that were popular for Christmas trees in the '50s and '60s. My mother burned many a fingertip changing out one color so it wouldn't be next to the same color.

By the way, purple lights are very dark, and white lights had to be added to lightened up the tree just to see the ornaments.

It took me five hours to put those babies on. Oh well, the tree looks beautiful during the day!

Friday, December 01, 2006


Here's a good reason not to do drugs.

A 45-year-old, naked (yes, naked) man was pulled by police from the jaws of a nearly 12-foot-long alligator around 4 a.m. Wednesday in Lakeland, Fla.

Deputies, who responded to multiple reports about a man screaming for help, had to wade through thick mud about 20 feet into Lake Parker to get the guy.

Police pulled on his arms to try and free him while the alligator had a grip on his lower half. They couldn't shoot the beast because they said it was too dark and were afraid they would hit the victim.

Humm, let's see, what's worse, to die in an alligator's belly or from a gunshot wound?

After being freed, he was taken to the hospital in critical condition with a broken right arm, leg injuries and his left arm was hanging by a tendon.

When asked what he was doing in the lake in the middle of the night, he said ... smoking crack.

What a rush that must have been.

No word on why he was naked.

P.S. This picture is not the actual alligator. It's from a Florida family member who likes to remind me of why I moved to New Jersey.