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Monday, July 31, 2006


Oh, the wonders of wonderment.

Wouldn't it be nice if every day we took a minute to view our world through the eyes of a child, looking at everyday things in a whole new way.

Wouldn't it be amazing to see for the first time a swimming pool with sparkling turquoise water, or a banner plane flying under puffy white clouds that dot the clear blue sky. How about a huge orange sun sinking into a beautiful sunset?

To be able to see it all new fills me with wonderment.

Of course, so does my new complicated digital camera that left me wondering how the heck I screwed up the white balance so much that it turned all of granddaughter Chloe's birthday pictures blue.

Friday, July 28, 2006


OK, I know I shouldn't eat a lot of red meat, but the London broil sandwich offered the other day at our company cafeteria looked too good to pass up.

I got the dish served on lettuce instead of bread because I figured it would be less calories and carbs, and just might balance out my unhealthy eating habits.

I took it back to my desk in its to-go box, my mouth watering, sat down and opened the newspaper to read while I ate my lunch as I do every day.

The first news story that caught my eye turned out to be quite complementary to my afternoon meal, which I quickly trashed once the nausea set in.

It seems a stripper and a severed hand did me a favor on how to resist red meat.

Thursday, July 27, 2006


Having a granddaughter has its ups and downs.

When she's around, all I do is get up and down.

Happy Birthday, my smart, cute little sweetie pie (who takes after her Nana).

Hey, I call 'em like I see 'em!

Wednesday, July 26, 2006


I miss my mother.

Not a day has gone by since she died in February that I don't think about her. Especially when I need a hug or a little moral support.

When I was in particular need of a hug recently, Darling Daughter told me about a dream she had. It seems my mother told her that she will be on the wings of a butterfly to let us know when she's there, watching over us.

I have a friend who lost her husband a few years ago. She said she finds comfort watching Monarch butterflies emerge on the milkweed plant she and her husband planted before he died.

She knew nothing about Darling's dream when she e-mailed me recently and said she is nurturing a milkweed plant for me. Soon, she said, the caterpillars will turn into beautiful Monarchs.

Then, I will be waiting for a butterfly kiss from my mother.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006


Pizza places that tightly wrap hot parm sandwiches in aluminum foil tick me off.

It never fails, when you open the sub there's more cheese on the wrapper than the meatballs.

And, wouldn't you know it ... the cheese is the best part.

But having to operate on the foil with a scalpel to retrieve it is like trying to
eat self-caught crabs ... something gets lost in the (visual/taste) translation.

Hardened glops of once-melted cheese from aluminum foil are less than palatable.

So, why don't they use wax paper?

At least that goes down better with the cheese.

Monday, July 24, 2006


It's mine.

That's my motto if I find it in the washing machine.

Over the weekend I found $23 floating around among the darks.

Because the load contained several pairs of pants, I figured my man forgot to empty his pockets.

Oh well ... his loss since I make the laundry rules.

I felt like I discovered hidden treasure. Then I realized all the pants in the load were mine.

Disappointed, I washed his balled-up socks in the next load as is.

Friday, July 21, 2006


Perceptions get us into trouble.

I stayed up late watching the movie "Kinsey" about the life of Dr. Alfred Kinsey and the Kinsey Reports - the controversial publications of "Sexual Behavior in the Human Male" published in 1948, followed in 1953 by "Sexual Behavior in the Human Female."

To this day, the Kinsey Reports still polarize many people because of perceptions. The Religious Right people say his work was morally corrupting. Others say it was liberating.

As a teenager, I embraced "letting it all hang out" during the sexual revolution of the '60s, and followed it up with sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll in the '70s

So, why do I now, in the privacy of my home, perceive that the bathroom door should be closed during pit stops? To everyone ... even my dog.

Thursday, July 20, 2006


OK, so I didn't grow any potatoes.

My tomatoes, on the other hand, are starting to ripen in my deck garden I planted in the spring.

I gave up on the nasty squash and zucchini plants that over-ran my deck with prickly stems and leaves until the hot weather dried them up all together.

Good riddance, I say. The rate they sucked up water, I couldn't keep them wet enough anyway.

Nevertheless, I'm thrilled with my first big yield of peppers and tomatoes. Ha! And, broccoli is on its way.

One thing bothers me, though ...

Why can't I bring myself to eat them?

Wednesday, July 19, 2006


Prescription: Cheerios ... and the purple pill.

OK, so I should be happy "doctor reamer" didn't find anything serious causing my mysterious, nauseating condition.

After being poked and prodded from both ends, I anticipated a debilitating diagnosis. His professional wise-guy opinion on the cause ... "I don't know."

BUT, for the gastritis and diverticulosis, eat more fiber, walk around the block every day and stay stress-free.

I could have gotten that information, without being put through the trauma of bowel cleansing, off the Internet.

Where's Dr. House when you need him?

Tuesday, July 18, 2006


The preparation medication warning label said 2.7 percent of patients have severe vomiting after ingestion.

Guess who's lucky enough to be in that number?

Now it's time to tell to go tell "doctor reamer" the liquid laxative may not have gotten down far enough to do the job thoroughly.

Then again, I'm sure he'll be able to discover that himself.

Monday, July 17, 2006


We're becoming good friends ... lime Jello and me.

Jello and chicken broth.

The two-in-one colonoscopy/endoscopy I'll be having tomorrow boils down to a liquid diet today.

That and I'll be ingesting some pretty lousy medication later tonight that should leave my digestive tract cleaner than its been since Fleet and I became friends when I went into labor some 32 years ago with Dr. Son.

I figure tomorrow will be a good time to weigh myself.

Friday, July 14, 2006


I need a can-do attitude, like the bird that built this nest on top the Tiki on my deck.

I have the right attitude at work, but accomplishing nonessential projects around the house always take a back seat to more pressing tasks.

No matter how hard I try to catch up, the projects (that I'd much rather do) sit, sometimes for years, waiting for me to free up time.

It seems something always gets in the way.

Maybe in my next life, I'll come back as a bird.

Although it never laid eggs, the bird made a pretty cool nest, don't you think?

Thursday, July 13, 2006


Every morning I'm in a quandary.

I stand in front of the closet in my underwear trying to figure out what to wear and asking myself, "Will this blouse keep me warm enough in the deep-freeze air conditioning at work or should I layer it with a jacket?"

"Will I be cool enough coming and going in the 85 degree weather outside? Should I put my hair up or leave it down?"

After making a final decision, there's always the issue of whether or not to iron the blouse under the layered look. Which is why the permanent press jacket is a fashion must for lazy dressers like me ... (OK, so I sweat a little bit outside because I won't take it off to reveal the wrinkly top underneath).

My man, on the other hand, gets up, throws on whatever from his closet and away he goes, always looking quite spiffy.

Why is it that men never seem to have these clothing issues?

Wednesday, July 12, 2006


I was running late for work.

I had yet to gather my things, provide my girls with their daily chew bones and make the bed.

I was rushing around when I looked out the kitchen window only to see the smallest hummingbird I've ever seen feeding on the little blue flowers in the deck planter.

Mesmerized, I watched the bird go from bloom to bloom for a few minutes until it flew off into the woods.

I was sad my camera was not nearby to record the tiny bird in all its splendor. Too often we rush through life, not appreciating the beautiful things around us, and I was glad I had taken the time to watch the hummingbird go about its daily business.

When I got to work I had an e-mail from an astute reader who confided that he had gone through some very rough times in his life, but now, life was good. He wanted to me to know that he was getting married, and how thankful he is for newfound his happiness.

I thought about the hummingbird, and how thankful I am that it made me smile, if only for a moment in time.

What little things make you happy?

Tuesday, July 11, 2006


It made my eyes water.

Sitting in my car with the windows down at the gas station I was overcome by fumes, and it wasn't the gas that caused the olfactory overload.

It was the cologne emanating off the man sitting in his car next to me.

Why is it that men think women like the smell of strong cologne?

What are they hiding? BO?

Why not shower regularly instead of dousing yourself with a chemical that makes others' eyes water?

Monday, July 10, 2006


People, get a pedicure already!

With summer in full swing and everyone walking around barefoot or with open-toed shoes, I've been noticing how many ugly toenails are out there.

It doesn't take much to clean and cut your toenails (men, too), and it just might make the meal go down a little better for those who of us who sit next to you at the
breakfast table or in a restaurant.

If you have fungus toes, then I suggest you beat feet to the doctor, and cover up
those piggies when you're in public!

Clean, healthy toenails make the world just a little prettier.

Friday, July 07, 2006


Here's a good reason to avoid going to the beach.

My sister-in-law went to Point Pleasant Beach and parked in a space where you have to display your paid ticket on the dashboard or on the windshield under your inspection sticker.

She placed the $1-a-half-hour ticket on the dashboard and went to enjoy the day.

She also left her windows cracked open.

When she returned 15 minutes before her time was up, (surprise, surprise) there was another ticket from the police on her car.

A $50 one for improperly displaying the parking receipt.

It seems the wind coming in the windows blew the receipt to the other side of the dashboard. It still was in plain view but not under the inspection sticker.

You can't blame municipalities for wanting to make big bucks off those who park illegally during the season, but come on already!

Why does an over-zealous, greedy government come to mind?

Wednesday, July 05, 2006


You gotta love people and their dogs.

I was e-mailed this picture from the Pasquale Family who say their 12-year-old bichon frise's dying wish is to be in the newspaper. OK, so he's not a poodle.

Well, this isn't the printed page either, but it's the best I can do for Spike who's from Chadwick Beach.

Forget about the fact that his owners spayed him with red and blue paint. What I want to know is who gave him the JetSki lessons?

And to think I got bombarded with e-mails from animal-rights people when I wrote my grandmother put peanut butter on our dog's palate and pretended like he was talking as he licked it off.


Hopefully, you survived another Fourth of July without a ground spinner going up your pants or a sparkler setting your house on fire.

Traveling home last night along the shoreline around 8:30 p.m., I was amazed at how many unofficial firework displays were being set off from backyards of neighborhoods like yours and mine.

Here in New Jersey it is illegal to possess or set off fireworks if you are not a professional handler. Obviously, very few people care about the law.

Having had a smoke bomb go down the back of my shirt one Fourth of July, I can speak from experience how dangerous fireworks are. I was lucky to escape with only minor burns.

To this day, active fireworks anywhere within a 100 feet make me nervous.

There's a reason for the law.