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Wednesday, August 30, 2006


It was raining, and she wanted to go outside.

She wouldn't give it up ... pitching hissy fits all over the place.

Poor Nana was at the end of her rope after taking care of her for a couple of days. So she put the little imp on the deck, in the rain, and shut the glass doors.

She shucked off Nana's efforts to teach her a lesson, kicked up her heels and laughed, knowing she got her way!

So Nana gave her a Popsicle.


Now, I remember.

I remember what it's like to take care of a 2-year-old - inside on a rainy day - and still try to get something done.

Bottom line is ... you don't.

Good news is there's always candy! Isn't that what grandmas are for?

Other good news, Spud brought home TWO chickens from Boston Market.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006


I made them back to back.

Tacos and chili.

These are not my usual dinners for the man, who prefers chicken, but I wanted leftovers to take to Darling Daughter. She's a little overwhelmed right now with a new baby and toddler, and needs quick and easy meals she can feed to her family.

But the man wasn't too happy with tacos and chili two nights in a row, so he squawked about not having a "decent chicken dinner."

Then I broke the news.

Both the tacos and chili were made out of chicken.

Tonight: meatloaf.

Monday, August 28, 2006


It never fails.

As soon as one car in the family develops problems, the rest follow suit.

It seems all my man's vehicles are in need of repairs. Yes, he has more than one ... all of them "paid for" models.

He refuses to buy new because of the high insurance costs, so he has to deal with older-vehicle upkeep instead.

I say it all evens out in the end, but as a motor man who enjoys his toys, he sees it differently.

It's no problem until they all go down at once. Then (all of a sudden) it becomes my problem, too.

Oh, the joys of a relationship!

Friday, August 25, 2006


I have 10 days off starting tomorrow!

It's funny how great you feel the day before you go on vacation.

Actually, my mind says I'm already gone.

Oh, I still do my work in a drone-like fashion, but I'm thinking about all the things I want to do when I'm off. Things that most likely will never get done.

Hopefully, little Parker will come home from the hospital, and then there's all that clothes shopping I have to do for an upcoming wedding and my man's reunion.

God knows, I gotta look good for that least I don't measure up to his old high school girlfriends.

Ah, who cares ... right now I just want to savor the moment of looking forward to
time off. Stay tuned for fun blogs!

Thursday, August 24, 2006


Pluto has been demoted.

I suppose everyone will be writing about the downsizing of our solar system now that our former ninth planet is no longer considered a planet.

Not many people know how many planets there are in the first place, but now they'll have to worry about remembering how many dwarf planets there are along with how many stars are on the U.S flag.

I grew up next door to "I Dream of Jeannie's" Major Nelson, so you might say I'm a little spacey. We took our space news seriously because everyone in my family, except me, worked at Kennedy Space Center, on the missile pads, or in the early bunkers at Cape Canaveral.

Not knowing anything about the new guidelines that define a planet, I just
have to say, "once a planet always a planet" and blow it out your black hole all of you high-fluting astronomers for confusing the you-know-what out of the rest of us.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006


I'm always looking for shortcuts.

Especially when it comes to staying healthy.

It's a good thing I'm not obese because I could never wait out a diet. Give me surgery instead.

It always comes down to quick-fixes like this vitamin water that supposedly provides all your daily requirements in just a couple of bottles. Instead of taking a lot of supplements every day, I figured I could hydrate myself with this and, at the same time, flush my kidneys, make my skin plump and my hair beautiful, and thicken up the old bones.

Then I read the nutrition facts on the label.

Oh, there were vitamins in there, along with 13 grams of sugar and a hell of a lot of carbs.

This was no shortcut. And with all that sugar, I'd have to give up my nightly glass of red wine.

In a perfect world, red wine would have fiber and calcium ... and I'd look like I did when I was 20 and be a size 4 forever!

Tuesday, August 22, 2006


I had made arrangements to meet Darling outside the hospital at 4:30 p.m.

Turns out, she didn't show up until almost 5 p.m. So there I sat thinking I had misunderstood where we were to meet.

I considered going up to the floor where Parker was but worried that I would miss Darling in transit.

Then, I worried that she was up there worrying if she came down she would miss me.

Really, all that worrying was needless because all I had to do was call her to confirm her whereabouts, which I did.

She was just late.

What did we ever do without cell phones?

P.S. No change on Parker's condition this morning. X-rays show he still has a problem, maybe fluid, with one of his lungs. He's cranky, though. Most likely hungry!

Monday, August 21, 2006


Thank God, little Parker has been taken off the respirator.

He still, however, is plugged into oxygen and has a feeding tube, along with a couple of IVs in his tiny hand and belly button.

As of this morning, Darling Daughter said he is starting to breathe a little better and his condition is slowly improving. He has a way to go, though, before he can come home.

Thanks to all of you for including him in your prayers.

In the meantime, here's a nice animal picture to look at until I can take more pictures of Parker. Ha!

Saturday, August 19, 2006


It's times like this that remind me how much I rely on my faith in God even though I know I should be a better Christian.

Little Parker is having trouble breathing.

He's on a ventilator and will have to stay in the hospital until he gets stronger.

Dear Lord, forgive me for not professing my faith in You every day, but please be with this little child now and give him the strength to pull through.

Friday, August 18, 2006


No blog today...

Darling Daughter is in labor with grandson Parker.

Picture, by the way, is of granddaughter Chloe's birth, with obstetrician Dr. (Bush look-alike) Neal of Toms River.

Thursday, August 17, 2006


I know everyone is tired of the frickin' animal posts, but I couldn't pass this one up.

I obviously made a huge mistake placing the bird feeders outside the kitchen window at our new house. While it is near a bird sanctuary, there are few places on the actual property to put feeders and still be able to see from inside the birds who visit.

This poor birdie, who was coming in for a nice meal, I'm sure quickly lost his appetite. He must have recovered from the impact because he was nowhere to be seen once we discovered his chalk line on the window.

The ironic part is that while I was taking this picture another bird hit the sliding glass doors by the deck area where there are no feeders at all.

Am I reliving Alfred Hitchcock's "The Birds" or what?

Wednesday, August 16, 2006


I used to have a cleaning service.

My man got tired of waiting for me to vacuum up the dog hair and clean the wood floors, so he hired one.

None, however, offered services on Saturdays. Which meant he had to take off work in the middle of the week while they cleaned because he didn't want to give out the house key.

Good thing, too, because one maid stole a bottle of prescription pain killers ... while he in the house!

And that was that. End of cleaning service and my free time.

Now, I spend my evenings longing for an honest person who loves to clean toilets while I dust off the wine rack.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006


What's with people who keep their dog in an outside pen all day and night?

This poor dog was so bored he wore a rut in the ground running back and forth just to have something to do.

It was obvious no one had interacted or played with him in quite some time.

He just kept running back and forth, robot like, and didn't even bark, much less stop, when I walked over to take his picture.

Maybe I'm out of line, but a pet shouldn't be a live lawn ornament.

Monday, August 14, 2006


Major Bird (left) did not assimilate.

He loved his plastic toy and mirror more than me.

I felt bad because he looked so lonely inside his cage, even though I talked to him constantly and took him out every day for fly-time.

I finally gave up that he would ever warm up and got him a buddy, Minor Bird.

Darling Daughter said I should call the new guy "Major Mistake" instead.

Major already has tried to knock Minor (who was standing next to Major's plastic mate) off the perch with his foot.

Hopefully, Mr. and Mr. Bird will adjust to their new alternative lifestyle.

Friday, August 11, 2006


Day One: The boss shakes a bottle of Wite-Out not knowing the cap is loose.

The commercial correction fluid, which is impossible to remove, spills out onto her sweater, blouse and skirt. When she got home, she had to throw away her clothes.

Day Two: The same boss somehow is splattered with coffee from an erupting, cheesy drink cup she purchased at the local convenience store.

Her new white blouse is stained, and she asks her crew if anyone has a bleach stick or stain-remover pen. One young man said his mother just bought him one to keep at work, but he discounted the need for such a thing and left it at home.

The boss now has to either wear her sweater buttoned up or walk around all day with brown stains on her bosom.


I knew Wite-Out was good for something else besides making corrections on the computer screen.

Thursday, August 10, 2006


If you liked yesterday's picture from the Internet, you'll love today's.

This is a Kitty Litter Cake, believe it or not, made from a recipe on

The things we do to get kids to eat these days is not unlike what my Gram used to do.

Our spaghetti often was referred to as worms, and forget about what we did to mashed potatoes (imagine a big zit).

The only problem I have with passing on the tradition of grossing out your grandchildren is that granddaughter Chloe already tries to drink out of my Chihuahuas' water bowl.

Who knows what she would do if I made her the Kitty Litter cake.

Good thing I don't have cats.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006


I had to post this picture that someone sent me in an e-mail.

I don't know why, except I want to know why some people voluntarily mutilate their bodies like this.

I can understand pierced ears or a nip and tuck here and there, but why in the world would you want a zipper on your tongue?

Wouldn't it be better for most people on their lips?

Tuesday, August 08, 2006


I had a dream.

Actually, I have a lot of dreams ... every night. Last night's dream was just plain weird, though.

I have to marvel at how our minds work by replaying the day during the middle of the night.

I'll spare you the details of the crazy dream that probably lasted a good four hours. I know this because I kept waking up during the fierce thunderstorm that passed through the area, only to go back to sleep and dream about America's enemies invading New Jersey like Sherman plundering Atlanta in "Gone With the Wind."

Earlier, I had read about the continuing conflicts in the Middle East and had watched a History Channel show before going to bed about the Taj Mahal and the Mughal Empire.

At the end of my dream, when the two armies came face to face on horseback, I (as a peacemaker for the United Nations) decided it might just be better if everyone went to McDonald's and shared a Happy Meal.

Wouldn't it be nice if it were that simple?

Monday, August 07, 2006


There's something about the month of August.

I always get that "life is good" feeling this time of year.

Could be because it's the heart of the summer and I love summer, no matter how hot it gets.

Or it could be because it's my birthday month, and birthdays are always fun no matter how many you survive.

Whatever, I love that slow, easy pace of summer and hanging out with those who know everything about you and love you anyway.

So, how's summer treating you?

Friday, August 04, 2006


It fell under my front seat.

And, I didn't notice until the sign said "Go" instead of "Toll paid."

The heat inside my car had melted the plastic Velcro strips that hold my EZ-Pass whatchamacallit onto the windshield, leaving its structural integrity compromised.

It just let go ... twice.

You'd think after the first time I would have seen it had fallen off the next day,


Now, I'm waiting for the E-ZPass police to catch up with me after they review the surveillance tape to slap me with a couple of $25 tickets for running a 35-cent toll.

I feel like such a criminal. Oh, the trials of a repeat toll evader.

Thursday, August 03, 2006


Heh, heh ... feels like my childhood summers in Florida out there.

Ponder this:

You know it's hot when ...

The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

You learn that a seat-belt buckle makes a good branding iron!

The temperature drops below 95, and you feel a little chilly.

You discover that you can use two fingers to steer your car.

Hot water now comes out of both taps.

You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.

You actually burn your nose putting on sunglasses that have been left in the car.

You break into a sweat when you step outside at 7:30 a.m.

You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

You can deal with it, I know, but don't forget that your pets feel the same oppressive heat that you do.

Please remember to protect them.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006


Sometimes I hate shopping.

Especially at the large home-improvement stores.

It's bad enough that you have to walk a mile and ask 15 people where to find that 3/8'' to 1/4'' connector for the gas grill, but by the time you get to the right aisle, you have to go to the bathroom, which is in the opposite corner of the store.

A half hour later when I finally got back to a virtually empty aisle, I began to peruse a huge hanging display board that had every kind of connector possible except the one I needed. All of a sudden, everyone and his brother wanted the same connector, and the exact spot where I was standing became very popular.

Now, you'd think with so many things in that store, someone would be looking at mulch or something, but NOOOOOO, they were all right there, reaching around me to finger one of the hanging connectors.

So, I redefined my comfort zone by elbowing my way in front of them to finger a different connector.

I finally gave up and went home to find some tranquility by standing next to my flowering bushes.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006


I overheard a friend complaining about a health problem the comes with growing older.

A middle-age woman, she was beginning to have blood-pressure issues and said she found herself sitting at the kitchen table every evening with the cuff on her arm,
checking it.

In addition, she is driving under the speed limit in the right lane ... just in case.

She added that all she needed was a bald head, a cigar and big Buick to complete the new image of herself.

Later, I received a letter from a reader who requested a copy of a past column I had written.

The writing on the envelope was uneven and appeared as if the older writer had labored addressing it.

I looked down at my own handwriting that isn't much better than chicken-scratching.

My new image of myself is that of a shaky, little old woman sitting at the kitchen table trying to address a birthday card to her great-grandchild.

Looks like e-cards are in my future.