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A CYNICAL LOOK AT THE DAILY GRIND

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

IN THE PINK


I'm always looking for shortcuts.

Especially when it comes to staying healthy.

It's a good thing I'm not obese because I could never wait out a diet. Give me surgery instead.

It always comes down to quick-fixes like this vitamin water that supposedly provides all your daily requirements in just a couple of bottles. Instead of taking a lot of supplements every day, I figured I could hydrate myself with this and, at the same time, flush my kidneys, make my skin plump and my hair beautiful, and thicken up the old bones.

Then I read the nutrition facts on the label.

Oh, there were vitamins in there, along with 13 grams of sugar and a hell of a lot of carbs.

This was no shortcut. And with all that sugar, I'd have to give up my nightly glass of red wine.

In a perfect world, red wine would have fiber and calcium ... and I'd look like I did when I was 20 and be a size 4 forever!

18 Comments:

Anonymous brittany said...

I have no comment for this. I am young and beautiful and I don't plan on changing. Tough luck for the rest of you oldies.

Wed Aug 23, 11:23:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OK 80Lady, time to let Brittany know what she's in for ... if she's lucky enough to survive.

Wed Aug 23, 12:03:00 PM  
Anonymous CouldItBeNP said...

I think Brittany is really a 30-something male with the beginings of a beer belly and a warped sense of humor.

Wed Aug 23, 01:11:00 PM  
Anonymous np said...

I don't have a beer belly! Although the sense of humor is a bit bent. Britanny is hot!!!!

Wed Aug 23, 01:42:00 PM  
Anonymous dmc said...

I got news for you Brittany. You may be young and beautiful now, BUT I hate to be the one to inform you, YOU WILL CHANGE, we all do honey.

Wed Aug 23, 01:47:00 PM  
Anonymous ap said...

No beer belly yet. Just beer in you belly, right? Hey, I had to come up with something.

Wed Aug 23, 02:30:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And, Brittany, the other thing about you that won't ever change is your IQ. You will remain stupid!

Wed Aug 23, 03:22:00 PM  
Anonymous Sophia Murano Lambargini said...

Go Brittany, you are funny-I bet that you are 102 and just want to annoy the older set
God Bless

Wed Aug 23, 03:50:00 PM  
Anonymous 80lady said...

hey brit..heard leo looking for a youngster..go for it..I agree, I think you are an old man pretending to be a pretty young girl..leo have you assumed a new blogger identity?

Wed Aug 23, 07:14:00 PM  
Blogger Tom from Brick said...

There are no short cuts to looking fit. Most of us stopped looking good without our clothes on after we hit our 20th birthday. Nonetheless, if striving for a young and beautiful look makes you happy, go for it. Life is too short to deprive outselves of harmless endeavors.

Wed Aug 23, 07:43:00 PM  
Anonymous Dorian Gray said...

Ah,Ms.Bubblehead,overly boobed Brittany.You are deluding yourself young lady,if that is what you are.Take a look at your parents.They will get old and die one day...You will get old and die one day also.
If you are lucky,on the way to aging and dying,you'll not encounter the slings and arrows of human misfortune as it pertains to
your health.
I am a 52 year old male,soon to be 53! I look better now than when I was 25!
Your bust measurements are double digits.Is your I.Q. in the double digits yet?
Back to your Barbie Dolls,Ms.Brittany....You are not mature enough for blogging on an intelligent level.

Wed Aug 23, 10:05:00 PM  
Anonymous D. Harris said...

Brittney is young and beautiful accoding to herself. I bet she is also high maintenance, cannot carry on an intelligent converstaion, and will find herself searching for "what went wrong in all her relationships" on the Jerry Springer Show one day. Look in the mirror, we all have flaws! You are no different.

Thu Aug 24, 05:38:00 AM  
Anonymous Britanny said...

Whatever! I don't care what all you gross people think. Especially you perverts who automatically assumed I have big boobs when all I said was I am young and beautiful. You can't help but fantasize about me. Gross!

Thu Aug 24, 09:22:00 AM  
Anonymous proofreader said...

is this a different brittany? your first blog is spelled Brittany, this one you blogged as Britanny..either you really are so dumb as to misspell your own name, or #2 Britanny is a fraud! Either way, both "brits" are vapid. (Like I said before, look it up- both of you).

Thu Aug 24, 12:47:00 PM  
Blogger Diana Fasanella said...

damn, i had to look it up, too

Thu Aug 24, 01:09:00 PM  
Anonymous wine girl said...

Enough about Brittany or Britanny, whoever she wishes to be. Let's discuss the merits of wine. Red wine is full of antioxidants, and is much more enjoyable that any artificiaaly flavored water. I say take a vitamin, and never, ever give up the wine.

Thu Aug 24, 02:59:00 PM  
Anonymous looklikesize4onmerlot said...

that's the spirit, wine girl!

Thu Aug 24, 03:45:00 PM  
Anonymous big sis said...

SIZE 4 ????????? I haven't been a size 4 since I was 3. Mother had 3 girls..3 sizes. Small, medium, and large. Guess where I stand? I'm all for surgery, can't diet it away, so cut it off. Just wish the docs with the scalpels weren't so expensive, because I would use them more often Course, at my age, no ones looking anyway. :)

Mon Aug 28, 09:36:00 AM  

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