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Friday, March 30, 2007


Artist Cosimo Cavallaro, who covered a Manhattan hotel room in mozzarella cheese in 1999, has cooked up another scheme to get his name out there.

This time he's made a 6-foot anatomically correct sculpture of Jesus ... out of 200 pounds of milk chocolate.

The 485,460-calorie Messiah has Esquire magazine listings all the nutritional facts of the chocolate Jesus that is scheduled to be unveiled to the public April 1.

The magazines claims you could live off this piece of junk food for more than eight months. It must be solid. But I'm wondering, why didn't Cavallaro use white chocolate? And, because the ears were always the first to go on my chocolate Easter bunnies, I'm wondering what part of this would you eat first?

Man cannot live by bread alone.

P.S. Obviously, for this blog the front view of the AP photo of the chocolate Jesus was cropped. And the bread shot was all I had to offer that was somewhat relevant from my photo archives.

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Thursday, March 29, 2007


The Marine Corps is banning new tattoos on the lower arms and legs of recruits.

Many grunts say the tattoo rule is getting under their skin. If they're caught with new ink, it could mean up to two years in jail and a dishonorable discharge.

But the Corps says body art is supposedly harmful to its spit-and-polish image.

Semper Why?

Who wants a spit-and-polish image when you're face to face with your enemies after crawling around in the mud of a foreign country for the freedom of others. A tough Marine with a big skull tattoo on his right forearm might just be a bit more menacing, don't you think?

Mine, on the other hand, is only menacing to me as I watch it begin to take on a crepe-paper appearance with the aging process.

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Wednesday, March 28, 2007


I've had it.

I've had it with young women drivers who ride my back bumper while they're admiring themselves in the visor mirror.

One girl last week whipped around me like a bat out of hell while she was talking on a cell phone and putting on eye makeup at the same time. She was driving with her elbows!

What were automobile manufacturers thinking when they put that lighted mirror on the driver's side visor anyway? No one on the parkway wants to see some bimbo grooming herself at 70 mph.

It's bad enough that changing the radio station and sneezing causes major accidents. But slip in the equation an air-headed, 20-year-old who think she's invincible, and that's a recipe for disaster.

Besides, the space between the console and front car seat isn't big enough for your hand to retrieve your lipstick when it falls there after you end up stuck between a rock and a hard place at the toll booth.

P.S. Toll booth picture was from a generic Internet e-mail. Now there's a couple of courteous drivers who never heard the word merge.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007


Being "green" these days has nothing to do with the color.

Instead, it means contractors and municipalities are using environmentally friendly materials when they build or renovate homes and other structures.

It means they landscape with plants that require less water or build with plywood from trees grown in renewable forests. It means they only install energy efficient heating and air-conditioning systems.

It also means they use paints and glues that don't contribute to greenhouse gases.

Of course, if you don't know any better, sometimes you accidentally sit down on the job.

But for our children's and grandchildren's future, let's hope this "green" (not chartreuse) thing will catch on.

Listen before it's too late.

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Monday, March 26, 2007


Here's a good Monday morning "gross out."

If you read my column on Wednesday in the Community section, you know I've written about bed bugs before. But with families getting ready to take summer vacations, I thought I'd put out another little warning.

These creepy, crawly creatures are as close as your nearest hotel, even the clean, four- AND five-star ones at that.

Make sure you check mattress crevices for bed-bug poop before you bed down. If it's there, so are the 3 a.m. night stalkers.

For more information on the bugs, go to Cooper Pest Solution's Web site or
listen to New York Public Radio's Leonard Lopate show from 12:40 -1:00 p.m. today.

Get a leg up on them before they get you. Check out this blood-feeding video.

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Friday, March 23, 2007


Long Branch officials want to make feeding wildlife on public AND private lands illegal.

They define wildlife as "all animals that are neither human nor domesticated," which includes stray cats and those pretty little birdies like the state goldfinch.

While the hundreds of backyard bird-watchers might be a bit put off when they're arrested by the bird-feeder police, I think officials should leave out the "neither
human nor domesticated" part.

I know I've fed at least one undomesticated "human" animal who should be illegal.

See today's APP editorial for more info.

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Thursday, March 22, 2007


They're finicky.

For once, I'm glad my perma-pups won't eat anything but people food.

With the huge recall of dog and cat food that's been linked to 16 pet deaths so far, I was scouring the list of brands to see if I inadvertently had purchased one to try to get my girls to eat like normal dogs.

I knew I really didn't have anything to worry about with the recall because my Chihuahuas turn up their noses at everything but baked boneless chicken breast mixed with rice. Except for plus-size Toots who, believe it or not, prefers veggies.

So now I'm thankful that every night I stand at the kitchen counter chopping up chicken and cooking rice for my girls who get fed before the man.

For more information on the recall go to Menu
which lists recalled foods with serial and lot numbers.

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Wednesday, March 21, 2007


Just when you think there is enough discord in the world, you hear that Hooters is opening a franchise in Israel.

Of course, the Israeli franchise-holder for the American restaurant chain, which features top-heavy waitresses in skimpy uniforms, said yesterday he will open his first Hooters restaurant in the cosmopolitan city of Tel Aviv, away from any highly religious sectors.

I bet his plan to open five more Hooters around the country will go over like gefilte fish at a southern barbecue.

And, this raises a few questions.

Will waitresses wear wigs with their tiny tank tops and orange short shorts? Will they schlep around serving kosher foods or will they keep abreast of the normal spicy chicken wings menu? And what's going to happen at sundown on Fridays?

I have to agree with blogger Proofreader ...
Holy Land Hooters has an odd ring to it.

(Obviously, these are Hooters pictures, not mine).

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Tuesday, March 20, 2007


It's hearsay.

We got an anonymous call from someone claiming that Muslim cashiers at a local store are refusing to scan certain products against their religion such as pork and beer.

I'm just wondering what liquor store in New Jersey sells beer AND pork. Unless it's Slim Jims.

Then I'm wondering about all the Muslim cashiers at convenience stores like 7-Eleven. Will they soon refuse to sell Big Bite hot dogs? Will larger grocery stores with diversity-hiring practices have to set up a pork-free register to accommodate their Muslim employees?

Why can't Muslims try and find work outside the food and beverage industry? I mean, even nonpracticing Christians know it might grate a bit on their religious values to work at XXX porn shops.

And, when I go into 7-Eleven, I want my pork pronto!
Oh, Thank Heaven for ham and hot dogs!

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Monday, March 19, 2007


Croci are your friends ... especially for spring-lovers.

This last storm that dumped a bit more snow on us was depressing, so I was thrilled when I saw the little yellow and purple flowers pop up in my beds. Last fall I thought the hungry squirrels had dug up all the bulbs, but it looks like they missed a few.

I love the flowers' determination.

Kind of like the post office motto: "Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds."

Well, they just delivered a whole lot of smiles at my house.

Now I'm worried global warming will kill that first taste of spring. It's enough to make you go postal!

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Friday, March 16, 2007


It's tit for tat.

Georgia Senate Rules Committee members unanimously signed off on a plan to designate April as Confederate heritage month. The bill introduced by Sen. Jeff Mullis is now headed for Senate approval.

A few days before, black lawmakers announced their plan to ask for an apology from the state for its role in slavery and segregation, a move Georgia legislative leaders did not embrace with enthusiasm.

Aren't there already plenty of Confederate museums, cemeteries and memorials to honor those who fought for southern independence in the Civil War? And who would the state be apologizing to ... the descendants of descendants of slaves long gone?

I'm just wondering why there's such a need to continue the fight.

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Thursday, March 15, 2007


It's just a body part.

I was taken aback when I heard three high school girls had been suspended last week when they used the word "vagina" in their reading of Eve Ensler's "The Vagina Monologues"> during an open-mic night at their school.

The John Jay High School girls used the word anyway after Cross River, N.Y., officials told them not to. They were given a one-day suspension for insubordination.

Yesterday, after much debate, the suspension was lifted.

Where are we ... in the Dark Ages?

After a century of feminist movements, it amazes me that the female body is still being treated like it's dirty.

Grow up all you Richard Craniums!
If it wasn't for a vagina you wouldn't be here.

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Wednesday, March 14, 2007


God is dead.

At least that seems to be the case for the 2007 $1 coins.

The new George Washington $1 coin is the first money ever issued by the USA in modern history lacking the words "In God We Trust."

So, why are secularists trying to remove God from our culture? Did He just disappear or is it that He can't be trusted anymore.

Being politically correct has finally sent our leaders over the edge.
I'm sure ole' George is rolling over in his grave with this one.

P.S. I did not take the picture of the new $1 coins above. It was e-mailed to me by a reader.

But I did take this one of a 1900 Morgan that has the phrase on the back.

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Tuesday, March 13, 2007


A Missouri clergyman is on a quest to make the world a better place.

He's started a campaign to get his flock to look on the brighter side of life by challenging them not to complain for 21 days straight.

Guess what? It's not as easy to do as it sounds.

Once someone takes the challenge - if they whine about anything - they have to start the 21-day, no-gripe pledge over. As of Monday, only 21 church members have made it.

The Rev. Will Bowen said he even broke his purple plastic bracelet (worn as a symbol for the challenge) three times over the four months that it took him to succeed.

Check out Bowen's revolution. It seems it's taking the country by storm.

Sounds like a good idea, but I bet wearing that plastic bracelet is annoying.

(Gee, I think I might have made it 21 minutes!)

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Monday, March 12, 2007


It's such a joy.

Returning from a vacation reminds me of Sunday nights when I was in school.

There's always a dread that looms over your head as the sun sets and you know there's work that's been neglected while you were enjoying yourself.

So here I am in e-mail hell, trying to catch up on the 265 that grace my inbox.

And speaking of e-mails, why are there so many people out there who think I need Viagra?

Friday, March 09, 2007


It was a Florida tailwind.

We blew into town 18 hours after leaving the Sunshine State and its near perfect weather of 72 degrees and beautiful blue skies dotted with puffy white clouds.

Even though I left behind most of my family and the warm temperatures, I also left behind the nagging apprehension I had harbored for almost eight years of getting back on the motorcycle.

Conquering one’s fears is a satisfying feeling. If only it were that easy with anything scary.

In any case, it's good to be home to sleep in my own bed and see Darling Daughter and my sweet little grandbabies.

Hippie HOG Nana has returned!

Wednesday, March 07, 2007


Sometimes you feel like a big shot, hanging around, basking in the sun.

Then the real world descends upon you.

Goodbye Florida ... 'till we meet again.


Everyone's accepted.

One great thing about being a motorcycle enthusiast is that it doesn't matter what kind of bike you ride, what you wear, how old you are or how different you look.

Most are truly nice people, who know how to be considerate and kind to others especially on the road. That's more than I can say for other motorists who engage in road rage every day.

Of course, you’re going to come across a few strange ones now and then as you would at any event where close to a million people gather.

But most are just good people like the group of Christian riders standing on Main Street distributing free Bibles with a picture of a motorcycle on them.

They had the right message - No matter what our differences, God loves us one and all.

Monday, March 05, 2007


Are these pictures from Daytona Bike Week or Freehold Cruise Night?


For me, day three of Daytona's Bike Week was fantastic.

The weather was warm and the riding exhilarating.

But not so for others.

Crashes killed four motorcyclists who were not wearing helmets. Another woman is in critical condition after she went the wrong way on a one-way street and mowed down a couple more.

None were wearing helmets. Alcohol also may have been a factor.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

On a motorcycle, you have to ride smart. There's little room to live and learn.

Saturday, March 03, 2007


Here's one for you ...
In Florida, why does the egret cross the road?

Friday, March 02, 2007


It was a monsoon.

Staying overnight in North Carolina wasn't in the cards on this road trip to Florida. The rationale was that the bikes would get less soaked if we drove faster.

So, my man put the pedal to the metal, and we kept going.

After 20 hours of sharing the same space with an angst-filled man, one dog that wouldn’t pee in the rain during pit stops and another with diarrhea that didn’t wait for pit stops, I need a vacation from my vacation.

Time to let the fun begin ... except I think it's going to rain.

Thursday, March 01, 2007


Ah, the joys of packing until midnight!

Up at 4:30 a.m. and still packing.

But now, we're off. See you in North Carolina.