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A CYNICAL LOOK AT THE DAILY GRIND

Friday, December 01, 2006

HIGH TIMES


Here's a good reason not to do drugs.

A 45-year-old, naked (yes, naked) man was pulled by police from the jaws of a nearly 12-foot-long alligator around 4 a.m. Wednesday in Lakeland, Fla.

Deputies, who responded to multiple reports about a man screaming for help, had to wade through thick mud about 20 feet into Lake Parker to get the guy.

Police pulled on his arms to try and free him while the alligator had a grip on his lower half. They couldn't shoot the beast because they said it was too dark and were afraid they would hit the victim.

Humm, let's see, what's worse, to die in an alligator's belly or from a gunshot wound?

After being freed, he was taken to the hospital in critical condition with a broken right arm, leg injuries and his left arm was hanging by a tendon.

When asked what he was doing in the lake in the middle of the night, he said ... smoking crack.

What a rush that must have been.

No word on why he was naked.

P.S. This picture is not the actual alligator. It's from a Florida family member who likes to remind me of why I moved to New Jersey.

10 Comments:

Anonymous proofreader said...

Since he was naked,is lucky that was the only thing "hanging by a tendon"...


Sounds like a regular "crackodile" dundee to me...

Fri Dec 01, 12:31:00 PM  
Anonymous dmc said...

I like what proofreader wrote. Could you imagine. What an idiot this man must be. Goes to show you drugs make you do the stupiest things.

Fri Dec 01, 12:55:00 PM  
Anonymous Jacob Morris said...

Next time he should try renting a canoe

Fri Dec 01, 02:12:00 PM  
Anonymous Menuval said...

Thank you, Diana. Next time I smoke crack I'll remember to be sure to wear clothes and to keep away from the alligators in Turkey Swamp Park.

Fri Dec 01, 02:37:00 PM  
Blogger margaret said...

If this doesn't make the guy go into rehab, I don't know what would!

Sat Dec 02, 07:55:00 AM  
Anonymous Izod said...

Pity,the alligator did not complete the job.Damn crack head!

Sat Dec 02, 11:02:00 AM  
Anonymous royal bloggy said...

I'm betting he wishes the emergency room physician has some crack on him!!

Sat Dec 02, 02:26:00 PM  
Anonymous agree with izod said...

yep...also wonder how high the gator was on second hand crack, or if he contracted any lung diseases from the second hand smoke so he could sue someone because of it.

Sun Dec 03, 10:11:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

In Florida alligators are rarely killed by man. They are not to be reconed with. Now that crack head was lucky-The police probably preferred the alligator.

Mon Dec 04, 05:47:00 PM  
Anonymous d. harris said...

Too Funny! And yeah, what a rush! Idiot.

Wed Dec 13, 08:06:00 AM  

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