Police arrested an Upper Saddle River man last night about 10 p.m. on charges of impeding traffic.
So what, you say?
Well ... at the time William H. Simmons was asleep at the wheel of his car on Route 72 in Stafford. The car was not moving but stopped in the slow lane.
Oh yeah, Simmons also was charged with driving (?) while intoxicated.
He must be related to the McDrunk who did the same thing in the fast-food lane at McDonald's a couple of months ago (see May 24 post).
Did you hear about the 4-year-old girl who called 911 nearly 300 times looking for McDonald's.
OK, so maybe she didn't ask for a hamburger all 300 times she called from her suburban Chicago apartment, but authorities tracked her down by offering a delivery from the fast-food chain. It seems the kid was playing with a deactivated cell phone and used it to call dispatchers, sometimes as often as 20 times a shift. Under federal law, deactivated cell phones still must be able to access 911, and many will contact an emergency call center if the user holds down the nine key.
Dispatchers heard the child's voice but could only track the phone's signal to her apartment complex. So to pinpoint her, they asked her what she wanted. She said McDonald's and gave them her address.
Police arrived, without the food, and mom took away the cell phone.
Harsh punishment. Police should have taken away mom's too until she taught her child that a phone, activated or not, is not a toy.
I guess I'd better retrieve my old one from the grandkids' toy box. There are so many other great things in the house besides a cell phone that children can play with anyway.
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Time ran out for one clown after he was a little slow picking up his fast food at a McDonald's drive-through in Camden, Ark.
Terrance Forte, 32, was found asleep behind the wheel with his engine running and right foot on the brake after employees called police saying they had been waiting 15 minutes for Forte to drive from the first window to the second window.
Forte offered the cops $10 for his food order when they woke him up. Not surprisingly, his blood alcohol level registered at 0.19, more than twice the legal limit. He was cited for his third drunk-driving charge and later released.
If I were a betting woman, I'd say Forte fell asleep waiting on the slow McFlatfoots to get his order together.
Let this be a lesson. Hit the always-ready-for-drunks White Castle instead.
After the McDonald's condom fiasco (see May 10 blog below), another Happy Meal has been laced with something more than cookies.
It seems an Ottawa, Ill., 8-year-old found a lighter, a pipe and a bag of marijuana in her Happy Meal yesterday. After wondering what the heck these new toys were, she promptly turned over the stash to her parents Keith and Andrea Ireland.
Police said the drugs and paraphernalia were placed in one of the Happy Meal boxes for safe-keeping by McDonald's employee Brandon Scott, 17, for later, when he got a chance to get happy too.
I guess it's insignificant to say, "What was this kid ... high?"
In any case, once the Happy Meal McBig Deal was straightened out, Scott was fired and McDonald's apologized. The Irelands plan to sue anyway.
Someone was ecstatic, but it wasn't the grandma who found a condom and its package in her granddaughter's Happy Meal.
A representative for the Wellington, New Zealand, McDonald's where the condom was discovered, said the fast-food restaurant ran out of the usual children's gifts and prepackaged sports bags were substituted in the Happy Meals instead.
How the condom got into the only open sports bag that was used for display purposes or how that sports bag got into the meal was the mystery of the day. Click here to read all about it.
In any case, it leaves one wondering what McDonald's workers do there besides get the french fries hot.
If you think that was gross, check out the bionic burger.
