TOOTSIE'S ROLLS

West Hollywood, Calif., wants to ban cosmetic surgery.


Not for people ... but pets.

Lawmakers say unnecessary "non-curative" surgeries, such as ear cropping, tail docking and debarking are cruel body alterations for the critters. The animal-friendly town that calls pet owners "pet guardians" already has made cat de-clawing illegal.


I wonder if "non-curative" surgery includes spaying and neutering.

Here's my logic ... Chihuahua Toots got fat after we had her spayed.

In any case, she's pretty fat, so would a little lipo on plus-sized Tootsie's rolls be illegal? Sounds like "curative" surgery to me.


Oh please, I'm just kidding! That little - I mean big - hot tamale keeps my feet warm at night!