OSCAR MAYER HAS A WAY

There's a reason why I like animals better than people.

Take for example this whole Don Imus scandal. Because it has been discussed, reported on and written about ad nauseam I'm not going to belabor it, but here's my 2 cents, anyway.

I say take the first baloney head and make him clean the Rutgers women's locker room until all the players he insulted graduate or he dies, whichever comes first. He should pay their college tuition, too.


Then take the second baloney head, rousing protests for the first baloney head's firing, and make him write skits for stand-up comics. Better yet, since he loves the spotlight so much, make him do stand-up in Bismarck, North Dakota, then film it as a documentary on "Keepin' it Real."

It's amazing how often I'd like to bury my head until all the stupidity in the world blows over or dies, whichever comes first.