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Tuesday, May 09, 2006


You would have thought it was the Hope diamond.

It's nothing more than a piece of old furniture causing all the fuss.

Such is the scene after the passing of a loved one who didn't leave a you-get-this, you-get-that will.

Relatives, armed with threats of breaking and entering, are driving a big wedge in the family tree that's already splitting apart. And over what? Stuff?

Before my aunt died, she made a list (signed and dated) as to what she wanted to
leave her loved ones. I was to get a pair of cherub lamps that once belonged to my great aunt.

Four years later, I haven't seen hide nor hair of the lamps. The point? I never
threatened my cousins that I was going to break into my aunt's home if they didn't give them to me! The right thing will be done eventually.

But now, it's time to grieve ... and not over stuff.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

In the best of families, ties were broken because of "stuff" and wills. I cannot complain as I was an only child. When my mother made her will, it was mine. And what did she once say:"It's all yours and no one will fight you over it!Be glad you're an only child!"
So I gave her stuff to friends who did not have a remembrace of their mothers!

Tue May 09, 01:15:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've seen some greedy daughters-in laws and some sons-in-laws over the years and it seems like they are the ones that 'push' their spouse for that piece of furniture (or whatever)...and the sad part is after the wedge has been driven in and pounded tight, the furniture usually ends up out on the curb, because it doen't 'go' with anything they own in a couple of years!

Tue May 09, 02:37:00 PM  
Anonymous Darling Daughter said...

I would never fight with Dr. Son about any STUFF or money and I know he would never do it either. A million dollars or a house could never replace my relationship with my brother. I guess it is all about how you were raised. Maybe these people were brought up to value STUFF more than eachother. How sad!

Tue May 09, 02:56:00 PM  
Anonymous where there's a will...there's a way said...

Because of that same scenerio, I am making a list for my children, and if they fight about it I will haunt them!!!

Tue May 09, 02:57:00 PM  
Blogger ~wolfshadow ~ said...

My idea is to give my kids and family my 'stuff' now, then I don't have to dust it, or move it, or store it. I keep only what I need for now. :)

Tue May 09, 03:01:00 PM  
Anonymous hisroyalbloggidness said...

Oh yes, Its time to grieve, less the grief! And don't let greediness in the doorway. With the wedge in place, it serves a usefull purpose, keeping predators at bay. Undeniably in due time these issues will be sorted through & then the proper decisions will be acted upon.

Tue May 09, 05:14:00 PM  
Anonymous Jacob Morris said...

I am an ONLY too,and what I was left were all the bills-not a person wanted any part of that...but,every bill gave back those memories that were made during the years that no one could pay

So, what? goes on and the memories last forever-the bills get paid... but the tears pill up...ending never!

Tue May 09, 05:58:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Unfortunately this type of thing brings out the very best in people, but also the very worst! You learn a lot about people as you watch these stories unfold. True character displays itself (or not!).

Fri May 12, 07:47:00 PM  
Blogger solli said...

Oh the joy of oversimplification! Wouldn't it be lovely if things were just that easy,,,
What if the piece of furniture was actually the property of someone still LIVING? And the actual owner wanted it back? Certainly we all think that furniture would not drive apart family- and I am sure we all ( The "all" being us nice rational, unemotional people) like to point a self righteous finger and say , " Shame on them!", but in reality the way people handle grief and loss, and pain, and yes, even greed, is not for others to judge. Cast the first stone if you will, but as someone who has watched the deep ache settle in after the devastating loss of a loved one, I can absolutely excuse the misplaced emotion over the additional loss of a treasured piece of furniture ( and possibly, family history!!!!)!

But since it is only a "piece of furniture" with no value attached,,, why not just GIVE IT BACK? End the fight, be the great big better person, and just give it back! Or is the view from the soap box just way too good?

Mon Oct 09, 11:46:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Seems to me that having aquired old furniture and having it refinished and placed in a newly bequeathed home,without so much as a "thank you" to the original owner forgetful though she may be and then keeping the "old piece of furniture"with great sentimental value verbally bequeathed to a close relative as a deathbed request simply to keep the "rift" "alive and kickin" is a pitiful way to honor the memory of a beloved one to who probably is still crying at the selfishness of it all!!

Mon Oct 09, 12:36:00 PM  

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