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A CYNICAL LOOK AT THE DAILY GRIND

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

STACKING THE DECK

Be glad you don't live next to me.


A Somerset County township tabled a dog ordinance that would have found dogs (and their owners) in violation if they barked four times per minute for more than 10 minutes, or two times a minute for at least an hour.

I'm wondering if that counts for just one dog, or if my three dogs barked a total of 12 times a minute for 120 times in 10 minutes would that be three times the fine?


And does it count toward the violation if I growled (yes, growled) "baaaad" after every bark like some dog trainers tell you to do? Would I be fined, too, for trying to get my dogs to stop barking at the neighbors' two dogs that are barking back at a rate of eight times a minute for 80 times in 10 minutes?

That would be 200 barks from the dogs and 120 "baaaads" from me for a total of 320 noise violations in 10 minutes.


Take a tip from plus-size Toots: Let it go, lie very still and try not to tip over your cache of carefully stacked doggie treats.

For more on the story click here.

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15 Comments:

Anonymous margaret said...

My neighbor has two samll dogs and a visitng dog (her daughter's dog) in her home. Their ips and barks and growls in unison are enough to make your ears bleed.

Tue Jul 31, 02:10:00 PM  
Anonymous margaret said...

Spelling errors - I meant "small dogs" and "yips" not ips.

Tue Jul 31, 02:11:00 PM  
Anonymous Rodney said...

What a ridiculous law!

Dogs are meant to bark!

We were so poor when I was a kid...we could not afford a dog.
We all took turns barking.


How about a question and answer blog where we get to interview our beloved Diana?
We submit a maximum of three questions each and the reporter gets to be the interviewee.
Nothing too personal or salacious...just inquisitive minds want to know? Place of birth,education,hobbies,favorite movie....
What say you readers?

"Fire up a colortini and watch as
the words fly through the air"

~with apologies to Tom Snyder

Tue Jul 31, 02:11:00 PM  
Blogger Diana said...

not that I'm all that interesting, rodney, but what do you want to know?

Tue Jul 31, 02:39:00 PM  
Anonymous BFA said...

I need some STACKER II, if you get my point!

Tue Jul 31, 02:43:00 PM  
Anonymous Rodney said...

Oh, just regular stuff....
Just trying to stimulate the blogging public.
Which was our greatest President in your estimation? And what made him so? How will the Iraq War ultimately end in your opinion.
Your take on the Barry Bonds steroid injected pursuit of "Hammering Hank's" homerun record.
Did you have a particular favorite newspaper writer?
What prompted you to write?
Regular mundane things like that.

Tue Jul 31, 03:33:00 PM  
Blogger Diana said...

greatest president: FDR, just because he's on every dime I've ever earned

Iraq war end: don't know, I'll probably be dead before then.

Barry Bonds: who cares, more power to him with the record. let him knock the ball out of the field and sooner or later himself out of the game with the steroids.

favorite newspaper writers: Dave Barry, Erma Bombeck

what prompted me to write? I was a photographer and needed a job. All that came my way was a reporter position. I took it. The rest is history.

Thank you for your interest, Rodney.

Tue Jul 31, 04:53:00 PM  
Anonymous woof said...

dogs are annoying, they bark when owners not there..owners want to deny it..cats don't make noises..if have annoying dogs in neighborhood barking all hours day/night..record it, document so can let people know their pets are not as precious as they think they are..and people with multiple dogs who work all day and pets stand at windows, doors barking for attention..that's cruelty and neglect..don't own a pet if you can't give it attention it deserves...

Tue Jul 31, 05:42:00 PM  
Anonymous dog lover said...

kiss my grits, woof. Quit judging dog owners when all you do is sit at home and play with your pu$$y.

Tue Jul 31, 07:28:00 PM  
Anonymous dog lover said...

pu$$y cat, that is.

Tue Jul 31, 07:29:00 PM  
Anonymous woof said...

and you with your teeny bone...

Tue Jul 31, 11:29:00 PM  
Anonymous dmc said...

I like Rodneys idea.

Its human nature for dogs to bark and humans to yell.

I also like your story today about the pool chemicals.

Wed Aug 01, 02:12:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

When I was with my son's dog, she growled and barked. at anyone outside who ventured near their property. The Pool guys got her in a frenzy. But that's what dogs do -bark. And bite.

Wed Aug 01, 07:04:00 PM  
Anonymous koreanchef said...

and that's why the untrained bad ones need to be part of a bbq

Wed Aug 01, 10:12:00 PM  
Anonymous proofreader said...

Too bad Michael Vick's town didn't have those laws.

Mon Aug 13, 05:01:00 PM  

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