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A CYNICAL LOOK AT THE DAILY GRIND

Monday, November 26, 2007

DON'T CALL ME IRVING

A swastika shaved into the fur of a German man's dog could land the pet owner in jail for three years.



Police found the dog with the banned Nazi symbol emblazoned in its fur when they went to the 29-year-old Straubing man's house after his ex-girlfriend called them for help.

She told police she wanted to collect her belongings but was afraid of the man.

Displaying the swastika in public is illegal in Germany.

Police are now attempting to find out if the man has walked the dog outside since altering its fur with the symbol.

Yikes ... Heil, mein schnauzer?

Photo by Photocapy

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Friday, November 23, 2007

GIVING THE FINGER

A Georgia woman's finger was torn off when a 21-year-old man in a car drove by and snatched her purse out of her hands.


The drive-by purse-snatching landed Caesare R. Pinkins in Gwinnett County Jail with multiple felony counts of robbery, aggravated battery and burglary.

On Wednesday, Pinkins swiped the 55-year-old woman's purse as he drove by and then stepped on the gas. Her finger was pulled off during the robbery. Surgical attempts to reattach it were unsuccessful.

Authorities did not release the woman's name or say where the incident occurred.

On a tip, police later found Pinkins in a Lilburn neighborhood where he ditched the car he was driving and entered a home that was unlocked. He also faces charges for another purse-snatching outside a Target store Monday.

Nice to know someone fingered the creep.

NOT the "real finger" photo by Augie Schwer

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WHERE'S THE PEANUTS?

A Thanksgiving meal provided to nearly 3,000 United Airlines workers as a way to reach out to disgruntled employees landed some in need of medical attention for nausea and vomiting.


Mechanics, baggage handlers and other employees working at Chicago's O'Hare International Airport were offered the meal that many said "was not edible."

Five people became sick after eating the catered meal that included turkey they said "didn't smell quite right."

The dinner was seen as a reconciliatory gesture from the company after unions criticized the airline for awarding tens of millions of dollars in pay increases and bonuses to top managers while employees took pay cuts to help the company survive.

Damn airline food.


Photo by Dong Kwan

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Wednesday, November 21, 2007

FADE TO BLACK

A man who went on a Madrid television show to profess his love and propose marriage to his estranged girlfriend, only to be rejected, is now a suspect in her murder.

Ricardo Navarro, 30, got down on his knees, crying and offering an engagement ring to his former partner during a popular daytime talk show, Diario de Patricia on the network Antena 3.

The 30-year-old Russian woman, only known as Svetlana, rejected his proposal and was found four days later with her throat cut in the elevator of her Alicante apartment building.

The televised meeting attended by Svetlana was arranged at Navarro's request as a surprise for his ex-girlfriend so he could try to make up with her. She might have thought the surprise was going to be a visit from a Russian relative, a network official said.

Sadly, it sounds like network officials helped Cupid's arrow go a little more than astray.

Photo by Sontra

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Tuesday, November 20, 2007

HAM BEFORE ITS TIME

About 1,500 pigs died in a fire last night at a Southampton farm.


The pigs were in two of the barns at Pig Farm Recycling and unable to escape the fire that leveled the structures at the facility.

Firefighters managed to keep the flames from reaching diesel fuel and gasoline tanks at the three-alarm blaze. The cause of the blaze is under investigation.

Guess these little piggies won't be going to market.

Photo by Cathy Se

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Monday, November 19, 2007

REMEMBERING WHIPPLE

Mr. Whipple, the closet toilet-paper squeezer, has died.

Ninety-one-year-old Dick Wilson died of natural causes yesterday at the Motion Picture & Television Fund Hospital in Woodland Hills.

Wilson made more than 500 Charmin commercials, the first airing in 1964 where he was consumed with keeping housewives from squeezing the toilet paper. The campaign ended in 1985, but Wilson went on to play parts in "Bewitched," "Hogan's Heroes" and "The Bob Newhart Show."

RIP Mr. Whipple, and when you look down from your soft two-ply white cloud (oops, wrong toilet paper), know there are generations out there who will never forget "Please don't squeeze the Charmin."

AP Photo

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Saturday, November 17, 2007

STUPID DOG OWNER TRICKS

A Minnesota woman stabbed a pit bull that got into her home and attacked her cat.


The Erhard neighborhood dog pushed past the woman's daughter and a friend when they were walking into the house and found the cat in the back room. While the pit bull was attacking the cat, the woman, who wasn't identified, stabbed the dog in the hindquarters with a knife to get it to stop.

The dog stopped and ran out of the house. The cat did not survive.

It was not clear why the dog was running the neighborhood. The incident is under investigation.

The dog's owner said his pet's wounds did not require medical attention.

I'm surprised the woman didn't make his hindquarters look like Swiss cheese, too.

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Friday, November 16, 2007

CHOCOLATE AND GOLD AND MICE, OH YEAH!

You don't always get what you pay for ... sometimes you get a little more.

Mice and cockroaches are not on the menu at Serendipity 3, the Manhattan restaurant that unveiled a record-breaking $25,000 chocolate dessert fused with edible gold, but they managed to cost the owners of the Upper East Side establishment a pretty penny.


The restaurant failed its second health inspection in a month yesterday after city officials found a live mouse and dozens of cockroaches, along with mouse droppings and flies.

The Frrozen Haute Chocolate comes with an 18-karat gold bracelet with 1 karat of white diamonds at the base of the goblet, hopefully minus the little extras.

Maybe owners should parlay their bad luck and serve diamond-encrusted cockroaches on the side.

Anyone who would pay $25,000 for dessert has mouse droppings for brains anyway.

Reuters Photo.

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Thursday, November 15, 2007

IN THE END ZONE

A Georgia prison warden is hoping an all-out blitz for satellite television will convince prison officials that Monday Night Football can be used as a management tool for inmates.



Warden Frank Taylor of the Clayton County Correctional Institution in Atlanta is asking for funds to bring direct satellite services to the facility to keep his 226 inmates in line.

Taylor claims 90 percent of the prisoners would be occupied watching the football games instead of the two fuzzy stations that are now in the five dormitories.

Uh, "occupied" ... why does "sudden death" come to mind?

Photo by Zoonabar

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Wednesday, November 14, 2007

NOTHING TO CHEER ABOUT

An Arizona high school teacher caught on video performing a sexy cheer routine in front of her class has resigned.


English teacher and cheerleading coach Cristina Mallon was put on administrative leave last month after a student captured her dance on his cell phone and put the video on YouTube.

Mallon elected to resign, according to Highley Unified School District officials, after she returned from her suspension and was put in the spotlight once again when she assigned a controversial book for her freshman students to read. A father complained that "Jake Reinvented" was inappropriate for 14-year-olds.

Guess she's not shaking her pom-poms now.



Photo by Kent Field

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Tuesday, November 13, 2007

CROSSING THE (WHITE) LINE

A Washington Post writer is apologizing for calling District of Columbia Council member and former mayor Marion Barry a "crack addict" in an e-mail to Barry's aide.

Tim Page, a Pulitzer Prize-winning music critic, wrote the e-mail after receiving a news release on Barry's views of the financially troubled Greater Southeast Community Hospital.


In the e-mail, Page wrote, "Must we hear about it every time this crack addict attempts to rehabilitate himself with some new ... and typically half-witted ... political grandstanding? I'd be grateful if you would take me off your mailing list. I cannot think of anything the useless Marion Barry could do that would interest me in the slightest, up to and including overdose."

Page said he had been cursed by a Barry staffer when he tried to have his name removed from the council's mailing list before he fired off the e-mail.

Executive Editor of the Post, Leonard Downie Jr., called Page's e-mail "a terrible mistake," and said internal actions were being taken, although he wouldn't say what.

Barry called for the firing of the critic who plans to take a previously scheduled four-month leave starting Jan. 1.

Good timing.

Photo by Baboona

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RUN SPOT, RUN

A man in southern India married a female dog in an attempt to atone his actions for killing two other dogs 15 years earlier.


P. Selvakumar married Selvi, a stray dog chosen by his family, in a traditional Hindu ceremony because he said he has been suffering since he stoned two dogs to death and hung their bodies from a tree.

After the cruel act, Selvakumar said he became paralyzed in his hands and legs and lost hearing in one ear.

An astrologer had told Selvakumar the wedding was the only way he could cure the maladies. It was unknown whether his situation had improved since the wedding.

Deeply superstitious people in rural India sometimes organize weddings to dogs and other animals, believing it can ward off certain curses.

After the wedding the groom and his family had a feast while the dog got a bun.

Dog: "What did I do to deserve this?"

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Monday, November 12, 2007

LET'S GET BLASTED

A stubborn lug nut got the better of one Washington man after he blasted the wheel with a 12-gauge shotgun and peppered his legs with buckshot.


The 66-year-old Southworth man had been repairing a Lincoln Continental for two weeks and removed all but one lug off the right rear wheel when he lost patience and decided to shoot it off. From about arm's length, he fired the shotgun at the wheel.

The man, who was not identified, suffered from severe, but non-life threatening, buckshot wounds, some as high as his chin.

Police reports say he was not intoxicated at the time of the incident.

Too bad. If he'd been drinking, he might have missed.

Photo by Swanksalot

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BLACK ON BLACK

Black Dog Syndrome has some Canadian Humane Society officials worried.

It seems black dogs at the Lakeland Human Society in Cold Lake aren't adopted as much as their lighter-colored canine friends. Prospective owners prefer any color but black, said animal care attendant Chelsea Deschambeau.


The reasoning is simple: All black dogs look alike.

Deschambeau also says darker dogs, such as Rottweilers, have a bad image and are portrayed in movies as aggressive. And, they don't photograph well because they don't stand out.

Of the 25 dogs now waiting to be adopted in the Alberta kennel, 17 are black.

On the other hand, Edmonton Humane Society spokesman Dianne Shannon says it's not the black dogs that are discriminated against, but black cats.

Where's Al Sharpton when you need him?



Photo by Erica Marshall

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Friday, November 09, 2007

I THINK I CAN, I THINK I CAN

A disabled woman narrowly escaped being hit by a train with the help of an off-duty police officer and her husband after the New York woman turned her car onto the Long Island Rail Road tracks that she mistook for a roadway.


The 63-year-old driver, who wasn't identified, screamed for help after her car became stuck on the rails and was facing an oncoming train.

New York police officer Randi LoCicero, 34, and her 33-year-old husband, Anthony, a volunteer fire chief, rushed to the car as the gates descended and the train's horn blared. The couple yanked open the door and pulled out the driver, who needed crutches to walk.

Moments later, the train plowed into the car, overturning and dragging
it a short distance. Neither the woman nor anyone on the train was hurt,
authorities said.

The driver, however, was a little ticked they didn't save her pocketbook.

Now, that's a real New Yorker for you.


Photo by Jan the Manson

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Thursday, November 08, 2007

STUPID IS AS STUPID DOES

Two Newark teens fell off a makeshift ladder of tied sheets trying to climb down five stories while fleeing from one of their parents who discovered they had alcohol.


The teenage girls, who were not identified, sustained broken bones and bruises, none of which were life-threatening, after falling off the 50-foot sheet ladder. They were taken to the hospital where they underwent surgery.

The girls were trying to escape from the parent who threatened to call police to find out who supplied the liquor, authorities said.

Why does Wiley Coyote come to mind?

Photo by ernoldiƱo

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Wednesday, November 07, 2007

YES, WE HAVE BANANAS

The beaches of two Dutch North Sea islands were less than "a-peeling" to residents yesterday after thousands of bananas washed ashore.


A half-mile stretch of beach on Terschelling island, 70 miles north of Amsterdam, was littered with the unripe fruit that fell off a Cuban cargo ship during a storm. Bananas also washed up on neighboring Ameland island.

Authorities estimate that six containers were washed off the ship and at least one burst open.

Beachcombers were on the scene to check out bunches of the green bananas, but weren't as interested in the haul as they were a year ago when tennis shoes, aluminum briefcases and toys washed ashore. Some 20 years ago, it was a load of sweaters.

It wasn't immediately clear what would happen to the bananas. Some locals had suggested sending them to nearby zoos.

Gives new meaning to "straight off the banana boat."

AP Photo

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Tuesday, November 06, 2007

STEAKS FOR EVERYONE

A Michigan couple celebrated their first wedding anniversary and, more importantly being alive, after the minivan they were in was struck by a falling object ... a 600-pound cow.


Charles and Linda Everson were driving back to their hotel in Manson, Wash., where they were visiting, when the year-old cow fell 200 feet off a cliff and onto the hood of their vehicle. They missed being killed by a matter of inches, authorities said.

The couple was taken to a nearby hospital as a precaution but neither was hurt. The cow, on the other hand, had to be euthanized.

I've heard it rains cats and dogs in Washington State, but cows? That's enough to make one moooove.

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HELLO, DOCTOR?

It was a traditional Hanukkah dish made with "slyders" that won a Missouri woman the annual recipe contest sponsored by White Castle hamburger company.


The Jewish latke pancakes had the usual grated potatoes and eggs, and as a bonus, 10 chopped up White Castle hamburgers in the mix ... minus the pickles.

Leslve Louis of New Melle named her creation "The Latkes You Crave." As part of her prize, she will receive a case of 30 burgers each week for a year.

Sounds like a good reason to get drunk.

Just in time for Thanksgiving: A White Castle turkey recipe

Photo courtesy of White Castle

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Monday, November 05, 2007

PREACHING TO THE CHOIR

They want to end the tyranny of the positive attitude by telling Americans that it's healthier to belt out your gripes ... in four-part harmony.

Thanks to artists Kochta-Kalleinen and Tellervo Kalleinen of Finland, the international complaints-choir movement has crescendoed from Australia to Helsinki and just recently made its debut in Chicago.



With The Complaints Choir of Chicago, the couple basically wants to combat the persistent American belief that it's best to think positively and keep complaints to yourself.

So, if you don't like your neighbors' dog, and you really hate they way your spouse leaves the dresser drawers open, organize a complaints choir and sing your heart out.

Sounds like an anti-American terrorist plot to me.
And BTW, those are peace-loving hippies in the photo, not the actual choir.

Job-hater's song submission for the choir:
"This job's not my sunshine, or my life dear,
It makes me angry, how much I'm paid,
You have no idea, boss, what I do here,
Don't let me go postal and blow myself (and you) away."

Real choir submissions:


Photo by Ed Berman

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Saturday, November 03, 2007

OVER THE LINE

A Swedish man is in hot water after he told U.S. authorities that his son-in-law had links to al-Qaida.


The 52-year-old father-in-law, who was not named, has been charged with defamation after he sent an e-mail to the FBI saying his son-in-law "likely has links to the Muslim terror organization al-Qaida's network in Sweden."

The false warning spoiled a business trip to the U.S. for the son-in-law, who was stopped at a Florida airport and questioned for 11 hours before being sent back on a plane to Sweden.

The father-in-law admitted to having sent the e-mail after it was traced to his home computer. He reportedly told police he sent the e-mail in anger after a dispute with his son-in-law, who was divorcing his daughter.

The man said he did not expect such a "paranoid reaction" from U.S. authorities.
He was charged with grave defamation and could face up to two years in prison if convicted.

Wow, now that's creative hateful revenge at its best.
What happened to just having a bunch of pizzas sent over to his house?

Explicit language. Viewer discretion advised


Photo by Nick Gray

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Friday, November 02, 2007

NO BLACK FRIDAY FOR YOU

New Jersey state workers are up in arms over Gov. Corzine's decision to open state offices on the Friday after Thanksgiving.


The Communications Workers of America orchestrated a telephone blitz to the governor's office, and so far, more than 3,000 calls have been fielded.

Since the governor says he wants to stop the decades-long practice of giving state workers that day off with pay, I guess they now will be crying in their leftover turkey sandwiches at work.

Waaaah!

What a shame they'll miss all this:


Photo by Word Ridden

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Thursday, November 01, 2007

PRO-CHOICE PIGEONS

Poop or no poop? That's this week's burning question for one New York City official who wants to reduce the pigeon population at the Staten Island ferry terminals by putting them on birth control.


Councilman James Oddo says OvoControl-P renders the birds' eggs "unhatchable" and hopefully will thin out the flocks. Less pesky birds ... less droppings inside the terminals where they like to roost and nest.

There's only one problem. The drug, which would be mixed into standard seed, has not been approved for pigeons by the state Department of Environmental Conservation. It's a go for geese, though.

So, here's the second burning question:
"How much do the pigeons costs in the ferry terminals? The ones with the unsanitary tale.
How much do the pigeons costs in the ferry terminals? I do hope that study doesn't fail."

Hey, Councilman Oddo is a serious, no-nonsense kind of guy. We can see that from this clip of him going off during an interview with a Norwegian comedian.
Warning: Explicit language, view at your own discretion.



Photo by Funkybug

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