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A CYNICAL LOOK AT THE DAILY GRIND

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

OOEY GOOEY

It seems an ear-wax eating incident is a bitter pill to swallow for Australia's opposition leader, Kevin Rudd, who is likely to become the country's next prime minister.


Rudd was caught on video tape nearly six years ago when he sat in the House Representatives as a junior Labor Party lawmaker, absent-mindedly probing his ear and then placing the same finger in his mouth. He previously has told journalists that he was just scratching his chin.

The embarrassing footage now has come back to haunt him on YouTube. It recently also was featured on "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno."

Rudd's antics, which he said he wishes were "more ideal," haven't hurt his popularity, though. He leads Prime Minister John Howard in opinion polls ahead of Nov. 24 elections.

Nice to have such loyal ear-wax-eating supporters. What's next, Bush booger-eaters?

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INSURANCE JOB? SHOOT ME NOW!

It's a tough job but someone has to do it.

A Texas insurance company worker may be rethinking why he felt a "need" to carry a gun to work after he accidentally shot himself inside his cubicle.


The 47-year-old man, who hasn't been identified, put a .45-caliber gun in the pocket of his jacket before he draped it over his chair yesterday. When he settled into his chair, the gun discharged. The bullet went through both legs and a bookcase before lodging in the wall.

Police said it didn't appear that the man was having problems with his bosses or that he targeting anyone at work.

He didn't have a license to carry a concealed weapon and violated work rules against bringing a gun to the office without permission. No charges have been filed at this time.

The man said he brought the gun to work because he "just felt a need to carry it."

I'd say it's a safe bet his insurance won't cover this one.

Here's a funny cubicle song for those of you who work in one.

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Tuesday, October 30, 2007

HEADS UP!

It was no Halloween joke when a traffic stop in Royse City, Texas, yielded two dozen embalmed heads.


The heads were used for medical training in Fort Worth and were being returned to Little Rock, Ark., when the trucker hauling the heads was stopped for speeding.

The driver couldn't immediately locate the documentation for his cargo that was wrapped in plastic, but later was allowed to proceed after paperwork was faxed to police.

He then made headway toward his destination.

Photo by Dawn Endico

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RED TAPE STATE

A new BIG State of Texas report reveals agencies there issue too many reports.

The 668-page report from the Library and Archives Commission outlines reports from more than 170 state agencies and public colleges and universities. The commission spent 18 months compiling the more than 1,600 reports, and members think there are still more to be found.


Initial findings indicate that there are more than 400 report requirements that are obsolete, duplicates or not needed.

It is estimated that thousands of dollars could be saved in staff hours as well as tons of paper.

The commission says it has just begun to assess the report requirements one by one and expects it will take another year to complete the study.

At which time, I suspect there will be another report.

Photo by Azza-bazoo

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Monday, October 29, 2007

UP TO YOUR TURKEY NECK IN ... TURKEYS?

A Port Republic woman has been haunted this Halloween by some goblins of a different kind ... a gang of turkeys.


Kim Allen says she has been trying for weeks to get rid of the more than 40 turkeys living in two sycamore trees outside her restored Victorian home.

All their gobbling didn't bother her, but raking and cleaning up the turkey poop people tracked inside her home did.

She sprayed the birds with water, set off firecrackers and banged together pots and pans to scare them away. The birds stayed, though, until recently when the leaves fell off the trees and, losing their cover, the "gobble-lins" moved on.

Now they are hiding out at a nearby hunting lodge.

Sounds like the gang that couldn't poop straight.

Photo by Rckenned

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GIVE ME A BREAK

A Pennsylvania man seeking to photograph deer with an automatic camera tied to a tree has some believing he captured an image of Bigfoot instead. Others believe it's nothing more than a bear with a bad case of mange.


Rick Jacobs said he's never seen anything like the creature he captured on film during his years of hunting and sent the image to Bigfoot Research Organization,
which pursues reports of a legendary two-legged creature that some people believe lives in parts of the U.S. and Canada.

After viewing the photo, Paul Majeta of BRO said, "It appears to be a primate-like animal. In my opinion, it appears to be a juvenile Sasquatch."

However, officials with the Pennsylvania Game Commission pooh-poohed the assessment and said the creature is nothing more that a bear with a really bad skin condition.

BRO: AAAGH! It lives, it lives!
PA Commission (and anyone else with half a brain): Yeah, yeah, Sasquatch this ...

Photo of bear by bfracker1

Supposedly Bigfoot photo by Rick Jacobs

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Friday, October 26, 2007

CHUG-A-LUG

A recovering alcoholic was charged with retail theft after he downed seven bottles of Jack Daniels Lynchburg Lemonade in the liquor aisle of a Mukwonago, Wis., Wal-Mart super center.


The 43-year-old man, who police did not identify, said he had been dry for 16 months before he went into the store and drank the 12-ounce bottles of spiked lemonade in 15 minutes. After consuming the alcohol, he put the empty bottles back on the shelf. A security video caught him in the act.

When confronted by a store official, the man at first denied drinking the alcohol but later confessed that "he couldn't control himself." He added that he didn't know how he was going to tell his wife who was in the store, but wasn't aware of what he was doing.

I feel his pain. Shopping at Wal-Mart is enough to drive anyone to drink.

Photo by Code Poet

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PUPPY LOVE

A dog-loving judge threw the book at a Charleston, S.C., man for tossing a puppy off a three-story-high apartment balcony during an argument with his girlfriend.


Circuit Judge Edward Cottingham, who has owned nine dogs, sentenced Javon Patrick Morris, 22, to three years in prison after he pleaded guilty to animal cruelty for throwing the 10-week-old puppy over the balcony. The dog was in a soft carrier and suffered head injuries in the fall. It had to be euthanized.

Cottingham was incensed that Morris would commit such a cruel act on a helpless animal "just because he was mad at someone," and added two years probation and anger-management counseling to Morris' sentence once he gets out.
Morris will be eligible for parole in 20 months.


Cottingham said he was obligated to impose the tough sentence, and that he wanted to "send a message to all dog-lovers that we are going to protect that interest in our courtrooms."

Too bad he didn't take it one step farther and have the creep hung by his ankles from the roof of the prison every day of his sentence.

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Thursday, October 25, 2007

THE BIG COVERUP

An Austrian sculpture of a naked Jesus Christ on a cross has anti-pornography activists reaching for more than fig leaves.


Activist Martin Humer, 82, and about 100 of his supporters are organizing a protest in an attempt to pressure officials to remove the crucifix sculpture from an Innsbruck public square where it has stood for 20 years.

Mayor Hilde Zach said the crucifix is a work of art and in no way pornographic. She refused to have it removed.

Humer, a retired photographer, gained notoriety last year after he was charged with defacing a nude Mozart statue in Salzburg with red and green enamel and covering it with white feathers.

OMG, what's this world coming to? First some guy wants to eat the anatomically correct, chocolate Jesus display in New York and now this.

AP Photo

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Wednesday, October 24, 2007

LUCK OF THE DRAW

An ambulance crew apparently got lost on the way to the hospital after picking up a runner who collapsed during the Chicago Marathon.


Earlier this month, Chad Schieber, 35, was in full cardiac arrest when the rescuers radioed dispatchers saying they were taking the dying runner to University of Illinois at Chicago Medical Center six blocks away.

The crew drove a couple blocks in the wrong direction, then flagged down another ambulance and got directions before driving past the medical center because they couldn't find the emergency room entrance.

When the lost ambulance asked dispatchers for directions, they were heard shouting over radios "We need maps! We have no maps down here."

Eventually, the ambulance took Schieber, a police officer from Michigan, to another hospital that was not part of the city's emergency response network. It did have a working emergency room, but Schieber died anyway.

It was not known if Schieber would have survived if the ambulance had arrived sooner at the hospital. His family is still searching for answers.

Sadly, sometimes you're the dog, sometimes you're the tree.

Photo by Fazen

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TAKE THAT YOU RASCALLY RASCAL

Want to scare off groping perverts with minimum hassle and without attracting a lot of attention? A flashing cell phone message might just do the trick.


Web-based publisher Spicy Soft's cell-phone application "Anti-Groping Appli" is gaining popularity among Japanese women who want to let perverts with wandering hands know that "groping is a crime."

More than 1,853 people were arrested for groping passengers on crowded trains in Tokyo in 2005, according to Tokyo Metropolitan Police. The number of incidents is thought to be much higher because women often are too embarrassed to report it.

After downloading the free program, the victim just pushes an "anger" icon on his or her cell phone when groped and several threatening messages appear to be shown to the offender, including "Did you just grope me?" and "Shall we head to the police?" A warning chime accompanies the message.

And the next obvious question ... Is there an application for those who want to be groped?

Photo by Rahims

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Tuesday, October 23, 2007

I WANT CANDY

Using candy bars to get female inmates to expose themselves has landed one former jailhouse guard in a bit of a sticky situation.


Steven Irysh, 23, was charged with indecent exposure and engaging in sexual activity with a confined person after he allegedly flashed a female inmate and had others expose themselves in exchange for candy bars.

Prosecutors said Irysh, who pleaded not guilty, would deliver notes to male inmates at San Luis Obispo County jail that offered the candy in exchange for female inmates flashing him. It was unclear as to which candy bars Irysh offered.

If convicted, he could face up to 18 months in jail ... and a lifetime of Snickers (not to mention all the sweet lovin' he could want from the boys in the Big House).

Photo by The Kid CL

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Monday, October 22, 2007

COME HERE, MY PRETTY

A New Delhi senior official fell to his death from the balcony of his home yesterday after being attacked by wild monkeys.

A gang of aggressive Rhesus macaques attacked the deputy mayor who sustained fatal head injuries in the fall.


Hindus believe the monkeys are manifestations of a monkey god and feed them bananas and peanuts, causing them to overrun public places and snatch food from unsuspecting passersby.

The Delhi High Court asked city authorities last year to find a solution to the problem. Officials there employed monkey catchers who use meaner monkeys to scare and catch the smaller monkeys but obviously, it hasn't helped to solve the situation.

Now, they're off to see the wizard!


Photo: CNN

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RAT BY ANY OTHER NAME

A Bayonne woman got a little hot under the collar after a flaming squirrel detonated her car.


Lindsey Millar, 23, was in her 42nd Street home last week when her 2006 Toyota Camry suddenly blew up. Firefighters called to scene said the culprit was a squirrel that had chewed through overhead power lines and ignited before falling on top of the car and setting the engine compartment ablaze.

While Millar was fully insured and no one was hurt, she said the incident was nothing to laugh about ... at least not until she gets a new car.

I'd bet the electrocuted squirrel wasn't laughing either.

On a really nutty note: Millar is thinking about dedicating a plastic tombstone among the Halloween decorations on her front lawn to the squirrel with no name.

Guess they don't have a lot to do in Bayonne.

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Friday, October 19, 2007

ONE RINGY DINGY

A fed-up, church-going Virginia secretary launched a hammer attack on some Comcast office equipment after she figured, "Hey, my telephone is screwed up, (now) so is yours."


Mona Shaw, 75, said she had a "hissy fit" after she ordered the company's Triple Play phone, Internet and cable service and the technician didn't show up at the scheduled appointment. Even when he did arrive two days later, he didn't finish the job.

Two days after that, Comcast cut off their service. That's when Shaw and her husband went to the cable company's office in Manassa and waited for a couple of hours before being told the manager left for the day.

The next Monday, the "old lady who just got mad" returned with a hammer and smashed a keyboard, knocked over a monitor and tore into a telephone.

Police arrested Shaw for disorderly conduct. She received a three-month suspended sentence, was fined $345 and barred from going near the Comcast offices for a year.

The Shaws did eventually get phone and television service - with Verizon and DirecTV.

I feel her pain.

Photo by Extra Ketchup

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TAKING A BYTE OUT OF CRIME

A small New Zealand brewer wants his stolen laptop back in a big way. In exchange for the computer's return, Croucher Brewing Co. co-owner Paul Croucher is offering a lifetime supply of free beer.




The laptop contains financial records and label designs for new beers along with business contacts. It is essential for the small business in its "critical stage," Croucher said.

But what exactly is the offer on the table?

Bring back the computer and get "a dozen bottles of beer a month for the rest of their life." The total value of the reward is estimated to be around $19,500.

The microbrewery ships 160 gallons of its three beers ... an English-style pale ale, Czech-style pilsner and a cloudy German wheat beer ... each week.

While there have been many people who have called to say they are looking for the computer since the offer was made, it sounds like cheesy deal.

Maybe brewery owners need to have their beer heads examined.

Then again, because beer makes people do this ...

maybe not.

Photo by
la vaca vegetariana

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Thursday, October 18, 2007

STOPPED IN HIS TRACKS

Officials in Oak Lawn, Ill., think stop signs are a joke.


The Chicago suburb has installed second signs under the regular ones at 50 intersections with messages such as "WHOAAAA" or "Stop right there pilgrim."

Other signs read "Stop ... and smell the roses" and "Stop ... in the naaame of love."

Mayor Dave Hielmann said the campaign launched last week was to make people "smile and take notice" of the stop signs.

While the mayor was posing for a photo with one of the new signs, a driver sped by without stopping.

:)

And that's all there is, folks!

Photo by Feaverish

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WHAT'S IN YOUR TOILET

If you liked yesterday's toilet blog, you'll love this one.

A Brooklyn woman got the scare of her life right before dawn Monday when she spotted a 7-foot-long python peeking out of her toilet.


Nadege Brunacci, 38, was washing her hands in the bathroom of her third-floor apartment when she glanced back and saw the head of the snake coming out of her toilet. Most of its body was hidden in the pipes.

The restaurateur turned on the light and screamed for help. She then slammed down the lid and put a heavy box on top.

Her landlord and firefighters came to her aid, but it took plumbers to tear apart the downstairs neighbor's pipes to get to the snake out.

It was unclear how the serpent got into the pipes.

Brunacci now uses her daughter's training toilet ... seriously.

True story: My brother-in-law almost sat on a hissing raccoon in his toilet! Talk about the shock of hearing the hiss much less trying to escape with your pants around your ankles!

Now here's a snake:

Photo by Upton

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Wednesday, October 17, 2007

POTTY MOUTH

A Scranton, Pa., woman was cited for disorderly conduct when she shouted profanities at her overflowing toilet.


Dawn Herb was yelling for her daughter to get a mop when her toilet started to back up, but let a few other choice words fly that offended her neighbor who heard the tirade through an open bathroom window.

Herb's neighbor, an off-duty city police officer, asked the woman to keep it down, but when she continued, he reported the foul-mouthed woman to police.

Herb said she doesn't recall what she said that offended her neighbor. She could face up to 90 days in jail and a $300 fine.

American Civil Liberties Union attorney Mary Catherine Roper took issue with the citation. She said a person can't be prosecuted for swearing at a toilet or a cop.

Where's a dump button when you need one?

In the meantime:

Photo by Viralbus

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Tuesday, October 16, 2007

NITTY GRITTY GRANNY

He was JUST washing his clothes.

Unfortunately, for James Penn, 25, of Mobile, Ala., he picked the home of a feisty 81-year-old woman who almost took him out with her trusty handgun when she discovered the homeless man in her laundry room.


Ethel Sanders said she heard noises in the laundry room and, with gun in hand, went to investigate. She shot Penn, who was standing in his underwear, after he came at her.

Sanders then fell to the ground and dropped the gun, which Penn picked up and pointed at her while he retrieved his clothes from the washer. He fled the scene, but was caught later at a nearby community center.

Penn was taken to University of South Alabama Medical Center where he was treated for the gunshot wound. He is expected to survive. He will be charged with first-degree burglary, police said.

Now, that's one pistol-packin' grandma!

Photo by Danimal
Here's one heck of a washing machine advertisement:

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Sunday, October 14, 2007

WHAT A TRIP

Looks like it's a wake up call for those on the magical mystery tour.

In the land where drug laws are lax, Holland has banned the sale of fresh magic mushrooms, leaving many visiting the Netherlands not so high and really dry.


The ban comes in the wake of high-profile incidents involving those using the shrooms, including a 17-year-old French girl who jumped from a bridge on a class trip to Amsterdam in March. She died.

Other cases include an Icelandic tourist who broke both legs jumping from a balcony and a Danish tourist who drove his car wildly through a camp site.

The Dutch Parliament has called for a total ban on all forms of the magic mushrooms, also known as psilocybe. They contain psychedelic chemicals psilocin and psilocybin that causes the user to see enhanced colors, experience giggling fits and, obviously, jump off high places.

Party poopers.


Photo by Ximijosefina

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WHAT A BLOW UP!

An inflatable Halloween lawn display wasn't as scary as a Lloyd, N.Y., woman's drunken neighbor who flew into a fit of rage and attacked her three ghosts and giant pumpkin.


Dawn Garcia told police she heard hollering and swearing before she looked outside to see her neighbor, John Odee, 43, struggling with the giant pumpkin. But, when she yelled at him to go away, he charged the house and used his head to smash a window.

Garcia called 911 and police arrested Odee after a brief struggle and charged him with burglary. He is being held in Ulster County Jail in lieu of $25,000 bail.

Garcia said she didn't know why her neighbor attacked the display since it was the same one she put up last year and it didn't bother him then.

Inflatable Halloween display ... $200.

Using your head so you don't have to look at the cheesy display for another year ... priceless!

Photo by destinelee

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Friday, October 12, 2007

BLINK FOR PINK

Put down that beer or glass of wine!

It's not a pink elephant but a pink dolphin that continues to be spotted on Calcasieu Lake south of Lake Charles, La.



Capt. Erik Rue of Calcasieu Charter Service first spotted the rare pink dolphin in June and says he stills sees the young bottlenose dolphin swimming with its mother from time to time.

The albino dolphin is pink because calves don't have as much of a blubber layer, and without the gray coloration, the blood is right at the surface, according to Dagmar Fertl, a marine biologist for Geo-Marine, Inc. out of Dallas.

There have been 14 recorded sightings since 1962.



(OK, so I got carried away with the dolphin videos!)
Photo by Capt. Erik Rue

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SCARY SPICE

An 18-month Millville boy had to be rescued by firefighters after he crawled inside the ductwork in his home and got stuck.



Rescuers had to cut through a plaster wall and the duct to free the toddler who somehow had removed a grate in his bedroom and climbed in before falling 10 feet to the dining room grate below.

His mother, Ashley Kahn, said she feared her son, Patrick, would suffocate when she only could see his eyes and the top of his head after finding him inside the walls.

The family now has a dresser in front of the duct in the boy's room.

Grate balls of fire, this rug rat bypassed the curtain-climbing stage.

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EYE TO EYE

Thought I'd check in with you to see if you were sitting there at your computer.





Yep, there you are ... doing nothing.

P.S. I'm taking a little break from work, but I'll still be blogging!

Thursday, October 11, 2007

ONE PILL MAKES YOU SMALLER

He was a real online Dr. Kevorkian.

Police arrested a Japanese man for allegedly killing a 21-year-old woman who paid him to carry out her plan through his Internet suicide site.


Kazunari Saito, 33, gave Sayaka Nishizawa sleeping pills and then suffocated her after she wrote to him in April through the site, which provided tips on how to commit suicide.

"I want to die, how can I die?" she wrote. Once Saito wrote back and told her, "I will give you lots of sleeping pills," the distraught woman then paid him $1,700, police said. It wasn't clear as to why she needed help.

Nishizawa's father found his daughter's body in her apartment just south of Tokyo. There was a note suggesting suicide, but her cell phone and keys were missing.

The suspect, an electrician by trade, told police the woman had asked him to "see her through" the dying process. Japan's suicide rate is among the highest in the industrialized world.

Officials didn't say if the Web site was still working.

What an entrepreneur!


Photo by Tata

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Wednesday, October 10, 2007

LONG LIVE MYSTERY MEAT

SPAM is 70.

Not the spam you get in your e-mail inbox, but the mystery meat in the famous rectangle can that at one time only could be opened with a special key stuck on the top.



To mark its platinum anniversary, SPAM is offering to its loyal, brave partakers, single-serve, easy-to-open packets with campy verbiage that claims, "This dotted line is like a freeway, the freeway to a delicious explosion in your mouth."

And that"s not all! Besides the new-and-improved SPAM container, the new-and-improved SPAM Web site has an interactive museum through which you can browse.

Who could ask for anything more?

Electronic spam, BTW, was named for the Monty Python SPAM sketch, set in a cafe where nearly every item on the menu includes SPAM luncheon meat.

Photo by Freezelight .

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SHOTS, ANYONE?

An Italian tourist was given a drip-feed of 100-proof vodka at an Australian hospital after doctors ran out of medicinal alcohol to treat the man for his condition.


The 24-year-old man, who was not named, ingested an antifreeze ingredient, ethylene glycol that causes renal failure. It was believed he was trying to take his life.

Pure alcohol is given in treating the toxic effects of ethylene glycol, but when the hospital ran out of the pharmaceutical-grade, doctors did the next best thing and put the dying man on spirits through a naso-gastric tube.

The drip-feed of vodka equaled out to about three drinks an hour for the three days the man spent in intensive care.

The Brisbane hospital officials said the incident happened about two months ago, but only just released the report. The patient made a successful recovery.

Does that mean he's now a recovering alcoholic?


Photo by Nic McPhee

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Tuesday, October 09, 2007

ON A ROLL

A New Jersey attorney was charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon when he refused to move his vehicle after pulling it onto a police officer's foot during a traffic stop.


Patrolman William Cytryszewski was explaining the traffic violation to Steven Cohen, 54, of Manalapan after he stopped the lawyer for reckless driving when Cohen drove over the officer's foot, trapping him. Cohen then refused to move his car.

Police did not report why Cohen refused to move the car or why it took another responding patrolman to help get the 2007 Nissan Murano off Cytryszewski's foot.

Rumor has it Cohen accidentally ran over the cop's foot when he was told to leave. He stopped the car when he heard Cytryszewski scream and didn't move it because he didn't want to injure the police officer further.

Cohen was processed and released on $10,000 bail.

Cytryszewski was taken to CentraState Medical Center where he was treated and released.

Can we now assume "flatfoot" is politically correct?

Photo by Grant Matthews

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Monday, October 08, 2007

WHEELS OF THE BUS GO ROUND AND ROUND

I love the name of this Arkansas town.

A Dumas, Ark., boy led police on a chase through three counties and four towns after he stole ... a school bus.


School officials alerted State Police of the stolen vehicle after spotting its lights around 11 p.m. Friday as it left the bus yard.

The 10-year-old was able to elude police along U.S. Route 65 through Desha, Lincoln and Jefferson counties despite road spikes being set up to slow down the bus.

He missed them all, each and every one.

Nearly 44 miles later, the boy slowed down enough for police to make the stop. That's when authorities discovered the driver was a child. He was cuffed, taken into custody and later released to his parents.

Turns out the kid was caught on tape trying to pull the same prank last month in Little Rock.

Dumas: Leave off the last "S" for stupid. (Yes, I know dumb is not spelled d-u-m)

See the incident:


Photo by Adrian S.

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Saturday, October 06, 2007

GET THE LEAD OUT!

A retired New York City cop accidentally shot himself in the leg at a Middletown firing range while qualifying to carry a weapon in New Jersey.


G. Kevin Calogera, 54, who also is an Old Bridge councilman, unintentionally left his finger inside the trigger guard when he was reholstering his gun, and the force pushed up on the trigger, discharging the gun around 9:30 a.m. yesterday.

Calogera is a member of the Retired Officers Association, and that group was qualifying at the police department's firing range, Middletown Police Chief Robert Oches said.

The retired officer was taken to Jersey Shore University Hospital. The incident has been referred to the Monmouth County Prosecutor's Office for review.

Retired officers have to qualify twice a year to carry a gun in New Jersey.

Hum, I wonder if he made the grade.

Photo by Grendel Khan

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Friday, October 05, 2007

ON MY HONOR

Be prepared for this one.

More than 1 million Chinese-made plastic badges, found to contain unsafe amounts of lead, are being recalled by The Boy Scouts of America.

The recalled "totem" badges are worn on the shirt pockets by Cub Scouts. They were sold to Scoutmasters as part of an "immediate recognition kit" during the past seven years.



Because of the multitude of recalls of Chinese-made toys, the organization started its own testing program this year, spokesman Gregg Shields said.

Routine tests showed unacceptable levels of lead in the badges. So far, they are the only Boy Scout products of the 94 tested found to be unsafe. There have been no reports of illnesses.

The badges have been pulled from the market and parents are being asked to remove the items from their children.

Maybe it's time for U.S. toy manufacturers to take a tip from the Scouts ("I will do my best") and bring their business home.

(AP Photo)

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GUMMING IT

Here's one medical error that's hard to swallow.

A New Zealand man's false teeth were found stuck in his throat four days after he went into the hospital for back surgery.

The Health and Disability Commission, which investigates medical malpractice and error complaints, reported today that the 81-year-old's upper dentures were removed for the initial operation in 2005, but somehow were put back into the heavily sedated man's mouth.


After complaining in a husky voice of extreme pain and unable to eat, the man was re-examined by doctors who found the dentures lodged in his throat and removed them.

As a result, a cyst in the center of the man's spinal cord pushed on his brain stem, which damaged parts responsible for swallowing and the feeling in the back of his mouth.

The elderly man recovered, but died within a couple of years of unrelated respiratory illness. The commission did not identify the hospital, the town or any of the people involved.

Bet ya relatives are chomping at the bit to make a few bucks off this one.

Photo by Mad Monk

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Thursday, October 04, 2007

E-MAIL HIT MAN

A Manchester man was given the ultimate e-mail ultimatum: Send me $8,000 and I won't kill you.

Harry Whitworth, 72, received an e-mail from a man named Eddy at justeddy1@bellsouth.net, who claimed he would forget about executing the hit he was hired to do on the elderly man if he would send at least $4,000 in good faith.



If Whitworth agreed to cooperate, the e-mailer said he would send him a video-tape of his employer contracting the kill on the retired accountant.

The e-mail, which contained a multitude of grammatical and typographical errors, requested that Whitworth respond to a different e-mail address: edyy99@sify.com, but does not give specific instructions on how the money should be delivered.

Whitworth said he believes the e-mail is just another attempt to scam senior citizens, but called local police anyway who advised him to contact the Ocean County Prosecutor's Office, the State Attorney General or the Secret Service.

Hum, I wonder what happened to "serve and protect?"

Read more >>

Photo of Soprano's set by Sub-Urban

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NOT JUST ANY SPUD

A Mr. Potato Head toy could send you to prison for life if you stuff it with 10.5 ounces of ecstasy tablets and send it to Australia.


Customs officers there discovered the drugs in the children's toy, sent from Ireland, when they removed a panel from the back of the head today.

While officers said the maximum penalty for importing drugs to Australia is life imprisonment, no arrests have been made. They added that the concealment was one of the most unusual ones discovered in recent times.

Now, we know why Mr. Potato Head is always smiling ... unless you put his mouth on upside down. I see it now... Mr Potato Head commerical - Here is your brain on drugs.

(AP PHOTO)

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Wednesday, October 03, 2007

HOT STUFF

London authorities had to evacuate parts of the Soho district and close streets earlier this week after a pungent odor from a Thai restaurant dry-frying extra-hot chilies left passers-by overcome by the smell.


Members of the Fire Brigade's chemical response team were wearing masks when they were called to the scene to find the source of the smell that coughing, sputtering shoppers said burned their throats.

Firefighters smashed down the door of the Thai Cottage restaurant and seized the hot chilies being prepared for a spicy Thai dip.

The smoke from the frying bird's eye chilies did not dissipate due to the rainy conditions and heavy air. No arrests were made, according to police, who said it was not a criminal offense to cook very strong chili.

It is, though, an olfactory offense in my house when the man eats it.



Chili photo by Bethany King

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NAME THAT VACUUM

A new study shows some Roomba owners are sucking up to their robotic vacuums.

So much so, they dress up the disc-shaped appliance made by the Berlington, Mass.-based company, iRobot Corp.


The study suggests that the public is ready to accept robots in the home if they are emotionally engaging. They don't even have to be reliable, according to Beki Grinter, an associate professor at Georgia Tech's College of Computing.

Grinter found through an online forum of Roomba owners, that many have named their robotic vacuum and treat them like pets. They even arbitrarily assigned it a gender.

One guy took the machine home to meet his parents. I wonder what he told them he like best about the machine.

If it's the design that influences consumers to become attached to robotic appliances, then I'm hoping the next will be a stove that looks like Jessica Simpson so the man can get emotionally involved.

Heck, I'd be satisfied if it just made him aware that we have a stove.

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AP (naked Roomba) PHOTO

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Tuesday, October 02, 2007

BETTER THAN A KICK IN THE GROIN

Need a hug? Well, you won't get one at this Oak Park, Ill., middle school where officials have banned the show of affection.


Percy Julian Middle School Principal Victoria Sharts said students were forming "hug lines" (what will pubescent kids think of next?) in the crowded hallways of the suburban Chicago school that caused some of its 860 students to be late for class.

So they instituted a no-hugging policy.

Sharts said at least one student complained that the hugs were unwanted and inappropriate, and that officials were concerned some of the hugs were too long and too close.

She added that the goal of the action was to "promote safe, orderly hallways where everybody can get by, be safe, and be on time."

I don't know about you, but I don't even like saying hello to some people in the morning much less hugging them. You'd think, though, that school officials would have better (or worse?) things to police.

In any case, ya gotta' love this Free Hugs campaign video (Music by Sick Puppies.net):

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Monday, October 01, 2007

IN THE SPIRIT OF FUN?

A New Jersey Pop Warner coach was knocked unconscious by a Pop Warner league official for not giving his son enough playing time.


Pop Warner Vice President of Football Operations Mario Romano, 42, of Colts Neck has been charged with "assault while attending a community-sponsored youth sporting event" after he punched the 44-year-old coach, who was not named.

The victim was unconscious for about a half hour.

Police said Romano was upset his son wasn't getting enough playing time and exchanged words with the coach earlier in the game for 12- to 14-year-olds, but then clocked him in the head once it ended.

The charge is a fourth-degree crime since children witnessed the attack. The coach was taken by ambulance to the hospital, treated and released.

Way to make your son REAL proud, dad!

Here's an all-out youth-sports brawl to make you think (This video is NOT the Colts Neck incident in the story above): View at your discretion



Teach 'em young photo by Salim Fadhley

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TO GRANDMOTHER'S HOUSE WE GO

Her cousins said no and she has no sisters, so a 27-year-old Brazilian woman got her mother to surrogate her twin boys.


Rosinete Palmeira Serrao, 51, gave birth to her own grandchildren by Cesarean section recently after she received four embryos from her daughter who tried for four years to get pregnant and failed.

Brazilian law stipulates that only close relatives can serve as surrogate mothers.

Officials at Santa Joana Hospital in Recife, Brazil, reported the grandmother and twins were in excellent health and released over the weekend.

So, I guess the boys will be calling her ... Grandma-Ma?

Does anyone else find this just plain wrong?

(AP Photo)

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